Life Mate
by AshlynCouslandTheirin
Summary: Omegaverse AU. Solas is an alpha inexplicably driven wild by Ellana's scent. He attempts to decipher the mystery of why she smells so enticing to him while desperately resisting the urge to take her as his mate. Or - in which Solas is wildly horny, Ellana is oblivious, and Cassandra is disgusted. Eventual smut. Eventually. Really.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Jumping on the bandwagon. I've read quite a few omegaverse stories, and I have to admit I quite like them. *blush* So, I'm giving it a go. We'll see how it goes!

Also, I have a question. I used to write disclaimers on my fics in my younger fanficcing (?) days, but I don't anymore. Out of curiosity, do you guys find them important, or even read them? Just a random thought! :)

* * *

 _Haven_

This was never supposed to happen.

Solas had only stayed in an attempt to understand the mark that scarred the prisoner's hand, and, if possible, find a way to get some of that power back. He was only going to find out whether or not he could, and no matter what the answer was, leave immediately afterwards. Go somewhere where he could study the breach while out of immediate danger – not the best plan, but it was _something_ – and find some way to fix this mess he had made. That old saying must be true then; the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.

Because that is not at all what happened.

When Cassandra led him – or more actually prodded and shoved him in that all too alpha way of hers – into the dungeon where the prisoner was being kept, he'd felt the magic of his orb even from the entryway. It buzzed along his senses, like nails being dragged lightly over one's skin. He'd forced himself to stay put instead of rushing forward towards it.

"She is an elf," Cassandra said shortly, taking him further in. That surprised him somewhat. "A Dalish."

Ah. His mood soured. He had no good memories of Dalish elves, and on the off chance the prisoner regained consciousness while he checked her over, she would take one look at his face free of vallaslin and get that superior _sneer_ and –

A scent suddenly caught his nose and he went rigid. The scents of all the others in the dungeon were there, and easily labeled – two betas, an omega, Cassandra's heavy alpha scent – but this one was so much stronger, sweeter, so distinctly omega and…he couldn't describe the scent with words, only knew that the moment he caught a whiff of it, it seemed to sink into his mind and body dig its claws in, burning instantly into his memory. He couldn't describe why but he _needed_ to be closer.

He went deeper into the dungeon without needing to be led by Cassandra, not that she noticed, and he couldn't help but notice that the Seeker's scent was now getting increasingly more agitating to him. When they finally paused in front of the cell holding the prisoner, it suddenly occurred to Solas that _she_ was where the intoxicating scent was coming from.

As she was on her side and turned away from them he could not see her face, and he had to ball his fists and bite his tongue to keep from lunging forward to…do what? He wasn't sure. Part of him just wanted to bury his head in her neck and take in that delicious scent right from the source, but that was ludicrous. At the very least it wouldn't go over well with the alpha at his side.

"Her mark has been spreading," Cassandra said, stepping closer to the prisoner. Solas was startled by the need to _growl._ Something only boorish adolescent alphas did in their first fights. How very uncouth. "It does so each time the Breach expands. They are connected, clearly, but we do not know how."

Solas did his best to tear his gaze away from the prisoner's prone form and meet Cassandra's eyes. It took longer than he wanted to admit. "…Yes. I will study it and tell you what I find, Seeker."

"Do not disappoint me, Solas," she said, and the threat in her voice was clear. He gave her a curt nod before moving towards the elf, inexplicably relieved to put himself between her and the alpha. Who was clearly not affected by this omega's scent the way he was. The feeling only increased when Cassandra left, making him furrow his brow.

This had never happened to him before. He had been around plenty of omegas in his life, but none of them had smelled this way to him. Even when he was young and hormonal, and been around a couple of omegas in their first heat, lusting and desperate…he had thought nothing could compare to that dizzying scent. This woman wasn't in heat, likely nowhere near her cycle, and her smell easily bested them.

What was she?

He turned her onto her back gently and brushed black locks out of her face. She was…stunningly beautiful, but he wondered if he only saw her that way due to the delicious scent emanating from her, clouding his judgment. She had full cheeks and high cheekbones, and freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks like stars. Lovely full lips were parted for shallow breaths, and he supposed she usually was much less pale. Clearly, the mark was harming her.

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it of her confusing, enchanting, _maddening_ scent – and failing miserably – he picked up her scarred hand and began his work.

* * *

An hour later, her scent had permeated his mind, and he was damn near drunk on the sensation. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to allow his skin to linger on hers, to stroke her arms and bury his nose in her hair, when the door to the dungeon banged open loudly. The harsh scent of alpha cut sharply through the pleasant haze, and he turned towards the entrance with his teeth bared in a snarl, surprising himself. He just managed to rein in his out-of-control alpha instincts when Cassandra stomped her way in.

"Speak," she said without preamble.

Solas gulped to relieve his dry throat and replied. "She may indeed be able to close the rifts with her mark, but until she wakes…"

Cassandra gave a curt nod. "We have no way of knowing. I will inform you when she regains consciousness."

Solas rose to his feet with the help of his staff. "I would like to attempt to close a rift again with my own power, if you would allow me, Seeker. If she does not wake again, we will need another option."

"I agree," the woman said, and turned on her heel to leave the cell, expecting him to follow.

He did manage to take a few steps toward the exit, but hesitated by the door, turning to cast a long look at the elven woman on the ground. The thought of leaving her alone tore at him, but he knew he couldn't stay. There were bigger problems at hand. Perhaps when the situation was more stable he could investigate the mystery that was her, more. If she lived.

"…Solas?"

He turned to see that Cassandra had looked back at him quizzically.

"I…am concerned for her health," he explained. It wasn't completely untrue. "The mark has done damage even in the brief time you were gone."

She nodded. "Our healers have done all they can for her. She is strong to have survived such pain."

"I agree," he replied. The brief conversation gave him the strength to move away from the elf, though with no small amount of discomfort. "She may survive yet."

Walking out into the fresh air had cleared his head somewhat, and he felt a little bit like he had been suddenly doused in cold water. He continually took deep breaths, hoping to erase the omega's scent from his mind. The cold winter air stung in his nose after having the sweet scent swimming in his head for so long.

Not long afterward he was fighting beside Varric as demons poured out of a rift that had opened up. He had not been able to seal it.

He didn't know Varric well, but so far found himself liking the dwarf. He was refreshingly blunt and managed to make jokes even in this dire situation. It was surprisingly fun to be around. The fight however, was not. The demons just kept coming, faster than they could kill them, and it was getting increasingly difficult to hold them off. He knew they would soon be overwhelmed.

Just when it looked like the tide was turning that way, her scent drifted to his nose.

The cold mountain air did nothing to keep it from hitting him like a ton of bricks. He stumbled mid-step and couldn't have stopped himself from turning to chase after the delicious scent if he tried. However, a Terror demon chose that moment to slash at him, reminding him of the imminent danger they were in. He managed to rise above the instant fog her scent had created soon enough to erect a barrier before the demon managed to make contact. Varric shot him a confused look that he ignored.

The demons were still coming at them faster than he could keep track of, and he was growing weaker, when suddenly the very woman who had distracted him so, suddenly appeared.

She flew in like a heroine from some epic tale, her staff whirling so quickly in her hands it was a blur. Lightning arced from it's end and from the fingertips of her free hand, killing off half of the demons and turning the tables in their favor instantly. And for the first time, their eyes met.

He had to admit, he expected her to be submissive and demure, the way most omegas were. They tended to be healers and adopted a gentle, reserved nature.

One look told him she was none of those things.

Her eyes shone with fierce determination, intelligence, and unmovable pride. (The irony of that later made him chuckle.) He could see the strength in her, the stubborn resolve to win, and woe upon anyone who stood in her way.

He had never seen so much of someone in a single look before.

In the next moment, she raised a brow at him, as if to ask "Well? You helping me or not?"

He could not deny her request.

* * *

The battle was infinitely easier with Cassandra and the elven girl helping them, and he was surprised at the particular way her scent affected him in the fight. It was as if the knowledge that she was in danger changed everything, and instead of being lost in a haze of lust he found his focus was sharpened. His spells were stronger for it, and the battle was ended within minutes.

The roar of the fade rift still ripping its way into their world kept him moving. He moved to grab the wrist of her scarred hand. "Quickly, before more break through!" He gave her wrist a rough pull, till her arm was outstretched. Magic poured from her mark into the rift, sealing it.

Later, he would lie about that moment. While he had been impressed by her abilities, and thrilled even that his idea had been correct, things did not change for him until afterwards. She glanced down at her marked hand, gently gripping its wrist with her opposite fingers, and then glanced up at him.

Her muddling scent fogging up his mind with a pleasant haze, and her sharp eyes giving him an inquisitive penetrating gaze, he felt the whole world shift around him.

They followed her lead to the valley, and Solas was surprised to notice that Cassandra had yielded so easily. At least, he noticed when his gaze wasn't unwillingly fixated on the elf's hips. He tore his eyes away with an internal snarl when he realized his eyes had drifted there again.

"So, Freckles," Varric piped up from the back, prompting the girl to turn her head slightly, indicating she was listening. "You never told us your name."

She turned her head fully now to look over her shoulder, with a dazzling grin. "It's Ellana." She afforded Solas a brief glance before turning to face ahead once more.

"I prefer Freckles," Varric replied. Ellana shook her head, and Solas thought he heard her chuckle.

There were a few more skirmishes as they neared the breach, and Ellana learned how to use the mark herself quickly.

After they had found the missing soldiers and Cassandra was taking a moment to speak to them, Solas noticed Ellana rubbing the mark on her hand with a pained expression.

"Does it hurt?" he asked as he approached her. She glanced up at him.

"Yes, kind of. It hurts more after I seal a rift." Neither exaggerating nor undervaluing the pain. He liked that.

"Here," he reached for her hand, and after a brief hesitation, she allowed him to take it.

Trying not to focus on the feel of her soft skin, he cast a spell that would reduce her pain somewhat, if not entirely. She gave a hum of appreciation and a pleasantly surprised expression crossed her face.

She examined her hand when he had finished. "Thank you, that's much better."

He gave her a brief nod and gestured for her to lead the way as the soldiers had now left.

He wondered if her skin was still tingling as well.

* * *

They approached the Breach in silence. While the smaller rifts were accompanied by loud roaring and screeching, the Breach was eerily quiet. It put them all on edge.

While they were all getting into position, Solas couldn't help looking at Ellana again. She idly gave her staff a few slow twirls as everyone readied themselves. Solas discreetly took a deep breath as her scent drifted toward him. He wanted to be able to remember it in case…in case she didn't make it.

 _You lie to yourself_ ,an inner voice mocked him. Her scent was branded upon his mind. He doubted the memory of it would ever even fade. He only wanted an excuse to inhale it once again.

With a nod from Cassandra, Ellana opened the rift with her mark, and the battle began.

Pride demons were not something to be taken lightly, or with small numbers, and luckily, they were currently surrounded by trained soldiers, all of whom were well aware of the danger. That is not to say however, that the battle was at all easy. Other smaller demons frequently attacked as well, and it was a constant game of switching focus to the more immediately dangerous enemy. It was incredibly difficult to dodge out of the way when demons had a habit of popping out of the ground.

Solas chanced a quick glance at Ellana, who was currently using her mark to disrupt the rift in an effort to weaken the demons. She did not see a rage demon slinking up behind her.

"Ellana!" Solas threw a barrier up behind her, just as she glanced to see what he'd cried out for. With wide eyes, she gave him a nod of thanks, then returned to the fray.

At last, the Pride demon lay dead, and Ellana shot her hand into the air, magic connecting her mark and the Breach instantly. All watched with bated breath as the power built and grew far more than it had with the smaller rifts. Ellana gripped her wrist with her other hand, attempting to force it to stay steady. The magic continued to grow. Ellana fell to a knee.

"Stop her, she's dying!" Solas began to rush forward, but Cassandra snapped an arm out to stay him. He couldn't hold back the snarl this time. The noise from the Breach however, drowned it out.

Ellana's other hand fell to the ground, and Solas saw it claw into the dirt as she cried out in pain. At last though, the power snapped, and in a brilliant burst of light, her mark and the rift disconnected.

* * *

Solas paced outside the gates of Haven.

Ellana had been declared well hours ago, only needing rest. While the Breach had been stopped, it also had not gone, and neither had her mark. He had been given a reprieve.

This did nothing to help his mood.

At the moment, he needed to make a choice. With the Breach immobilized, he could do as he had originally planned and retreat somewhere safe to study it. Without the distractions of Ellana's confusing scent. Even now, with her far away tucked safely in a cabin he could recall it acutely, and it gave him the urge to go to her. It was damn near impossible to ignore.

On the other hand, he could stay. Others would surely attempt to understand the Breach as well, and with joint efforts, a way to be rid of completely, without needing Ellana's help, might be found. He might discover a way to regain the powers for his orb, actually _find_ his orb, and fix this mess he'd caused. Along with all that, he could unravel the mystery that was his strange addiction to Ellana's scent, and why no one else seemed affected by it. He may even find a way to stop it, and be sure it never happened again.

However, he wasn't sure he wanted to be consumed with lust for a Dalish girl he knew nothing about for any amount of time, let alone such an extended period. It was maddeningly distracting, not to mention embarrassing. She was just one omega. There was no logical reason that he should be so affected.

Perhaps leaving was the best answer then. He would still be miles ahead of anyone else who studied the breach, due to his prior knowledge, so if there _was_ a way to be rid of it, he would still have a fighting chance of finding it quickly. He certainly wouldn't be missed. Cassandra _may_ decide to send Leliana's spies after him, but he doubted she would think him worth the effort. Even if she did, Solas knew how to stay hidden. He was very good at not being found when he didn't want to be.

All of the sudden, Ellana's scent drifted across the wind. She'd left the cabin then.

The thought of never figuring out that particular mystery troubled him. _Why_ was her smell so different to him? Had this ever happened to another alpha? Another alpha who had smelled her specifically? The thought of another male finding her so tempting had his lip involuntarily lifting in a half-snarl.  
He shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts. He had a choice. Leave, and study in relative peace, albeit slower, or stay, and have access to more information, while being exposed to a maddening scent that had a very good chance of driving him mad with lust.

His feet were moving towards her before he even registered that he'd made a decision.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it for now. What do you think?

Oh and for those of you who don't know, Solas means pride in Elvish.

Happy reading! :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Gonna do my best not to outright repeat conversations, but some will at the very least be similar.

* * *

 _Haven_

She was not like any omega he had ever met.

As he'd originally thought, she had an inner strength rivaling that of most alphas he had known. It emanated from her in every gesture, every sure stride. She was also tough as a dragon, letting no one stand in her way. "Took no one's shit," as Varric so tactfully put it. Three separate times human alphas had insulted her for her elven heritage, in an attempt to force her to yield. Each of them had pushed their dominant auras at her, a skill both alphas and omegas learned in early adulthood. Most omegas had an instinctual reaction, cowing before the dominant force. Some might even have bared their necks for marking if they were in heat and the alpha was seen as an acceptable mate.

Ellana was not even fazed. The first two were merely ignored, and left confused that they could not tame an elven omega, someone supposedly lesser than them. The third was more persistent, and ended up with a singed rear. Solas got a good laugh at that one, the only incident he'd had the pleasure of actually seeing.

She'd heard his amusement and offered him a rather mischievous smirk before sauntering off. They'd had yet to have a true conversation since the Breach had been stopped. Mainly because Solas had been doing his best to avoid her.

Distracting as it was – and that was a severe understatement – her scent did provide a warning bell of sorts. Seeing as he could smell the tantalizing aroma several minutes before she came into sight, it was easy to make a dash before she managed to get near him. The problem with that particular course of action was that every muscle in his body was clamoring to get _nearer_ to her, making it very difficult to get away. He wanted to know why it was this was happening, but he couldn't very well focus with her so close. With his mind swimming and his body lusting for her, he was more likely to embarrass himself than find a solution.

Luckily, this didn't happen often. He didn't think she was purposely seeking him out, and as he'd never told her where it was he resided, she would have had a hard time finding him anyway. However, nary a week after the Inquisition was officially declared, it was agreed to set up a post in the Hinterlands to help refugees. The Herald needed to make an appearance for various reasons – finding Mother Giselle and getting her help with the Chantry being most important. Naturally, Ellana would need help and protection, as the Hinterlands were a highly dangerous place at the moment, and she only had three companions, Solas being one of them. He avoided her for as long as he could, but eventually…

"Hey, Chuckles," Varric greeted him jovially that afternoon outside his shack.

Solas grimaced. He didn't mind the dwarf, but he knew why he was here. "Good afternoon, Varric," he replied, interlocking his fingers behind his back. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Freckles has been looking for you. We're heading out to the Hinterlands tomorrow – you in?"

Solas paused. "I don't suppose Cassandra has anything to say about the matter?"

Varric grinned. "She said if you don't come she'll personally skin you and use your hide as a rug."

Solas sighed. He should have guessed.

"You have been kind of scarce. I think she's pissed you're not pulling your weight."

With a grimace, the elf realized Varric was right. He'd been so focused on avoiding Ellana he'd forgotten his original purpose, studying the Breach. He would have to face her eventually – if he wanted to understand what had transpired with his orb and how her mark was attached to it, he needed to desensitize himself to her intoxicating aroma. Perhaps traveling to the Hinterlands would help with that. Being on the road for hours with her fragrance filling him may help him grow used to it, even if it sounded like his own personal version of hell.

Though he couldn't deny that a part of him was giddy at the very thought.

"Tell her I will be at the gates first thing in the morning."

* * *

This had been a terrible idea.

He'd arrived at the gates promptly at dawn, and had begun taking deep breaths of the mountain air, clearing his mind and attempting to find a sense of inner peace. If he could manage that, perhaps he could keep himself composed around the Herald.

But when she began to venture her way towards the gates herself, he caught her tantalizing scent on the air, and the alpha side of him came instantly roaring to the forefront of his mind.

 _Claim, mine, mate,_ _ **mine**_ _._

He shook his head, attempting to clear the thoughts. He was stronger than his primal instincts. He could conquer this.

But as she got closer his instincts continued to prod him to rush toward her, to take her somewhere safe, hidden, and protect her. He longed to know how different she would smell in heat, hot and wanting and lusting for him, and he would claim her, mark her, and –

He snapped out of the daze caused by her ever-nearing presence only because another scent had assaulted his nose. Cassandra had neared enough for him to smell the alpha aura radiating off of her, and the sharp contrast was startling enough to break him out of the trance he hadn't realized he was falling into. With a start he realized he'd even taken a few steps towards the direction Ellana was coming from. Cassandra being there might be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps her heavily alpha scent would help to prevent him from doing something he regretted.

At that moment, Ellana finally came into view.

He wouldn't admit it to himself until much later, but a part of him actually sighed in pleasure at the sight of her. He fisted a hand in an effort to remain in control. He hadn't been this close to her since the battle against the Pride Demon.

"Hello, Solas," she greeted cheerfully as she neared him; blissfully unaware of the turmoil her mere presence was causing him.

"…Good morning, Ellana," he managed. If she noticed that the words were strained, she said nothing about it.

She adjusted her pack on her shoulder. "Looking forward to the walk?" she asked sarcastically.

He couldn't help snorting. It was a two-day trek out to the Hinterlands. " _Immensely,_ " he drawled.

"I hope Master Dennet agrees to assist us with his horses after all. If we have to continue walking everywhere we go our feet will fall off before we manage to accomplish anything."

He chuckled under his breath, then winced when he was forced to inhale. _Nothing_ was as difficult as keeping away from her when she smelled so… _mouthwatering._

Cassandra finally made her entrance, once again cutting through the haze. He immediately realized calling her presence a blessing had been premature. It was all he could do not to shove Ellana behind him and growl a warning at the Seeker. Apparently, other alphas being near her was another obstacle he would have to face.

As it was, he managed to keep still, though he could not help keeping an eye on Cassandra, unwillingly watching for any movement that might threaten the omega between them. Or that might indicate she was planning to make a claim.

Varric arrived shortly afterwards, Bianca slung over his shoulder and a small pack of only the most basic provisions over the other. Solas thanked his lucky stars the dwarf was a beta. He wasn't sure he would be able to control himself if _two_ other alphas were in close quarters with them. Just the one was making him edge closer to Ellana, he realized with a frown.

"The scouts should have set up our first camp last night," Cassandra explained. "So everything will be ready waiting for us."

"Well, let's get moving then," Varric said with a sigh. "Nothing like sleeping on the cold hard ground…"  
Ellana chuckled good naturedly as she took the lead, the rest of them following behind. "Cheer up, Varric," she cajoled. "The sooner we get things taken care of, the sooner we can come back and sleep in comfortable beds again."

Solas couldn't help raising an eyebrow at that. "I would think you were used to sleeping on the ground, seeing as you're Dalish."  
"I am," she said matter-of-factly. "In fact, until coming here, I've never slept in a real bed. I had no idea what I was missing!"

It occurred to Solas then that as they would be sharing tents, Ellana would undoubtedly be sharing with Cassandra, for the sake of decorum. She'd be sharing another tent with another alpha, the entire night.

He was never going to survive.

* * *

 _The Hinterlands_

Most of the first few hours were spent with Varric making a series of jokes that had Ellana chortling and Cassandra sighing, and Solas near constantly switching his gaze from one to the other of the two women. He would keep his eyes trained on Cassandra for a while, without meaning to, but, irrevocably, they would return to Ellana's features.

She was a pretty woman; that was undeniable. Her skin was darker than it had been when he'd first seen her, as he thought it would be, a lovely sun-kissed color. The freckles he'd seen also dusted her neck and shoulders more lightly, and he found himself wondering how far they went (he nearly slapped himself for that thought.) He hadn't seen her hair down since then either. Tied up like this, her black curls just brushed the base of her neck. His fingers itched for want of running through her locks. He was particularly fond of her hands. While small and elegant, he'd seen her whirl her staff with sure precision, a task more difficult then it might seem. There was a quiet strength in her limbs – she had none of the raw muscle power of a warrior, nor the nimble dexterity of rogues, but the sheer force of an ocean seemed to emanate from her anyway.

Over time their positions shifted, until Cassandra was walking ahead with Varric, arguing with him over…well just about everything, Solas thought with a grin. Ellana had moved to stand beside him now, and he was wondering if holding his breath to avoid burying his face in her neck would be a good idea.

At some point she gave a chuckle at Varric and Cassandra's bickering and he couldn't help joining her. She glanced at him.

"So," she began. "You haven't really told me what you think of all this."

He raised an eyebrow. "All of what, pray tell?"

She waved an arm, gesturing vaguely. " _This,"_ she repeated. "The breach, the war the whole…Herald thing." She seemed most uncomfortable with the last part. Unsurprising, considering her history with the elves.

"The chosen of Andraste, a blessed hero sent to save us all," he mused. "It's an impressive title."

She laughed tightly. "I feel like I should be riding in on a shining steed."

"Perhaps a griffon," he replied, and that surprised a real laugh out of her. He was unreasonably proud of himself for managing that.

"That might be a bit much," she responded finally, still grinning.

He shrugged. "I've seen ancient wars and battles through my journeys in the Fade – both famous and forgotten. Each has had their heroes." He chanced a glance at her. "I only wonder what kind you'll be."

She grimaced. "I'm no hero," she protested quietly, then gave him a curious look. "What did you mean journeys in the Fade? You've seen those wars in your dreams?"

"Yes," he replied. "But I seek out these places – long forgotten ruins and battlefields. Any place strong enough to survive the rigors of time. They all have history, and are steeped in death. This attracts spirits. They press against the veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds," Feeling a bit like he was rambling, he snuck another look at her, and was surprised at how rapt with attention she seemed. "…When I dream in such places, I go deep into the Fade. I can find memories no other living being has ever seen."

Concerned, she asked, "Isn't that dangerous?"

"I _do_ set wards," he responded. "And if you leave food out for the giant spiders they are usually content to live and let live."  
"I must say, I'm impressed," she said, and seemed honestly fascinated.

"Thank you. It may not be as flashy as throwing lightning from one's fingertips," he teased, and she actually blushed, though it was joined by a smile. "But the thrill of finding remnants of a thousand-year-old dream? I would not trade it for anything."

"It must be quite something to see," she said softly.

They were quiet for a few moments, and he couldn't resist taking a silent, deep inhale of her scent. He was torn between describing it as more floral or sweet. With as mesmerizing as it was, he was pleased with himself for managing to have an entire conversation with her.

"I'm glad you're with us," she said, quickly, as though she was nervous. "Someone who is more familiar with the Fade will undoubtedly be helpful with the breach and…this." She rubbed the mark on her hand with her thumb, looking pensive.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. He was more familiar with the power of that mark then she could ever know. "I was uncertain I would at first," he replied, evasively. "While Cassandra is…accommodating," a glance in the alpha's direction from both of them, "I am an apostate mage surrounded by Chantry forces, with no protection. Surely you understand my caution."

She nodded. "Yes. But you came to help us." That fierce look glinted in her eyes. "I won't let them use that against you."

"How would you stop them?" he asked curiously.

Her intense gaze settled on his. "However I had to."

There was another quiet moment, this one of surprise. "…Thank you."

She gave him a curt nod and moved forward again, to walk on her own.

His instinctual concern over Cassandra, he realized, was pointless. Omega or not, Ellana could clearly fend for herself.

* * *

It was interesting to see how different she was in a fight compared to casually. She seemed cheerful and open most of the time, but the moment any of them were attacked, she was a force to be reckoned with. She was also _endlessly_ curious, and he found himself answering a multitude of questions over the course of the day – anything from the nature of spirits to questions about his personal life. From anyone else, the constant stream of inquires might have been irritating, but instead, he found it rather charming. He was hesitant at first to open up to her – from worry that friendship with her would cause him pain as much as confusion as to why she even wanted to know anything about him. But he relented, and told her bits of his life. The things that were safe. Overall, he did his best not to lie to her. Lies were difficult to keep up with, and often times required covering up with yet more lies. So it was a bad habit he had done his best to avoid.

He told her of how he began exploring the Fade, of his interactions with spirits, and how he had to explore more of the waking world to discover more areas of the Fade.

"Is that why you joined us?" she asked, eyes large and curious. "To be able to explore more?"

He was almost offended. "Not at all. I joined the Inquisition because…" his speech faltered for a moment. He had to be careful here. "Because the world is in danger of being destroyed. That threatens us all." He gave her a little smile. "I couldn't very well explore the Fade if I had nowhere to lay my head, could I?"

She laughed and he shivered as it seemed to make the scent emanating from her that much more pleasant. This was _torture._

Sadly, a torture he was loath to free himself from.

"I certainly hope it works for you," she said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He cleared his throat quietly. "Thank you." He sent a glance in her direction. Painful as being near her was, now that he had spent the past several hours in her presence, and presently had her decadent aroma saturating his senses, he found himself craving her more. The voice in his head that continuously told him to stay away, that being near her was a bad idea, was…quieter. Not silent, but even that, admittedly more logical side of him, was soothed by her company. "I must admit it has proven…interesting, experiencing more of life to discover more of the Fade." Interesting may have been an understatement.

"Oh?" she asked. "How so?"

After considering briefly, he responded by telling her that it was much like how she had to spend years training her magic to bend to her will, but that it yielded to good rewards in the end. "Your indomitable focus is an enjoyable side benefit."

She nodded. "I see the similarities." She surprised him then by biting her lip and giving him a mischievous, sidelong glance. "… _Indomitable_ focus?"  
He gave a startled chuckle. "Presumably." An inhale of her scent had him quivering, which he hoped she didn't notice. Her… _flirting_ with him this way had his alpha senses crawling back to the surface. "I have yet to see it dominated," he continued, his voice at a lowered octave. "I imagine the sight would be…fascinating."

Another woman might have giggled and lowered her eyes. Some (like Cassandra) might have been disgusted and stalked off.

Ellana, however, lowered her eyelids and once again he noticed her scent change, this time to something more heady. "Perhaps you'll get the chance to see such a thing yourself."

It was only because she suddenly moved forward in the group, towards Varric, that she evaded his hand, which had unwillingly grasped for her.

She was going to be trouble.

* * *

A/N: I realize that there's kind of a debate for exactly what Solas meant by the whole 'indomitable focus' incident, but this is my favorite. *evil grin* Plus it just really works for this story.

Thanks for all the favorites and follows! :3

Special thanks to DemonDragon000 and MissMajora8 for their reviews! You guys rock!

Happy reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm sorry I've been gone so long guys. My life is so freaking hectic.

Here, have copious amounts of UST. I made it just for you.

*faints*

* * *

 _The Hinterlands_

He gazed at her across the crackling fire that night. She was noticeably tired, which was expected after such a long day. Her nose was bright red from the cold, strands of hair had escaped its tie, making it a wild mess, and dark circles shadowed her eyes.

She was breathtaking.

Solas huffed irritably at his own thoughts and looked away. This was getting truly ridiculous.

They'd set up the tents not long ago, and were presently tearing into their food, far too focused on eating to do much talking. A long day full of nothing save for walking and the occasional battle. Both were tiring, and he suspected that as soon as one of them finished, they'd be making their way into the tents without preamble. Cassandra and Ellana were seated on the same side of the fire, obviously expecting to share a tent.

Solas' blood boiled at the thought. He'd never sleep knowing that she was alone with another alpha, in a small cramped space, out of his sight. Logically, he knew that Cassandra had no plans of moving in on the elf, but the alpha in him didn't seem to care. It roared at him to drag Ellana away somewhere, to protect her from any and all who might try to steal her from him.

He sighed again and rubbed the spot between his eyebrows. If he could just get her _scent_ out of his mind, or at least have no other alpha aromas around at the same time, he might be able to think clearly. Both were incredibly distracting, but with both of them around, his mind was torn between watching Cassandra carefully for signs of aggression towards Ellana, and mooning over the elf in question.

His thoughts paused when he noticed that Ellana had stopped eating and was looking at the rest of Cassandra's meal – the alpha was a surprisingly slow eater – uncomfortably. After a moment she cleared her throat.

"Were you planning on taking first watch tonight, Cassandra?" she asked. They had all agreed that one of them would be up at all times with the soldiers, so that they would get to rotate sleep turns as well, while still having enough people awake to be helpful if there was an attack.

"Yes," the woman replied curtly. A creature of few words.

Ellana frowned. "Hmm…I was going to take last. When you come in the tent I'll wake up, and I can never get back to sleep once I've woken up."

"Perhaps you could bunk with Solas tonight then," Cassandra offered, making his blood run cold. "He appears to be finished."

Solas glanced blindly down at his bowl, which he belatedly realized he _had_ finished. A half-hearted look towards Varric proved that he was nowhere near finished either. No help there.

The dwarf chuckled. "You sure you wanna do that, Seeker? That means you'd be bunking with me."

A horrified look overcame the alpha and a disgusted noise escaped her. Varric now guffawed loudly. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

Ellana giggled as Cassandra put her face in her hands and turned to Solas before the woman could change her mind. "Well? You okay with going to bed now?"

A sick, desperate, _need_ had overcome him, and as badly as he wanted to tell her no, or to run off into the forest to clear his head, _anything_ to get out of this situation, he found himself immobile. His body simply refused to do anything that might prevent him from lying beside her that night – though it didn't plan on being passive next to her for long. Or at all.

"Solas?"

He startled as he realized he had yet to answer her question and was being stared at by their companions. Feeling rather like he was being fed to the wolves (yet more irony,) Solas realized he could only agree and hope he lived through the night.

"…Apologies, it has been a long day. Certainly, Herald." He then gave a nod to Cassandra and Varric and bid them a good night. They murmured the same. It was all quite civil and Solas seemed every inch a perfectly calm, normal elf.

On the inside he was a war zone, half of his being terrified and furious with himself for being unable to decline. The other half rejoiced at his luck, and paced impatiently within, waiting for the chance to pounce. Solas was near panicked at the thought of what he might unwillingly do to her.

She entered the tent first, and he only managed to hold himself back before stalking in after her.

A predator after his prey.

* * *

She'd be a screamer, he bet.

In fact, even if she didn't normally, he'd make her.

Yes, he'd pleasure her so well she'd cry out her ecstasy to the heavens, and all of the Hinterlands would her, and know she was _his._

He'd mark her and claim her as his mate, the only woman worthy of standing beside a God, and all would cower before her. Never again would an alpha attempt to force her submission – instead, they'd submit to _her,_ and Solas would have her again right there, to show all he was the only one who could bring her pleasure.

Pain bloomed in his palms and Solas looked down to realize he was clenching his fists so tightly his nails had broken the skin. A light touch of healing magic solved the problem, and his gaze immediately snapped back to Ellana, so that he could stare openly.

As he had been doing all night.

For hours.

Hell, it could have been mere minutes. He didn't know.

All he knew was that every moment was _torture._ After following her into the tent Ellana had immediately flopped onto her bedroll, and promptly moaned at the sensation of lying on something soft. Solas had had to physically stop in his tracks and close his eyes as he attempted valiantly to forget that noise. He had failed.

Nevertheless, he had crawled into bed too, now fighting to keep himself from looking at her too much. He had no doubt he wouldn't be sleeping, but if he could just keep himself in check until she was asleep maybe he could content the alpha within by simply watching her, creepy as that was.

She'd slipped into the Fade quickly, a result of their long day, and exhaustion begged him to do the same. But every time he lied down to attempt to rest, he would suddenly find his eyes open again, unwilling to be without the vision of her.

And so, the poor girl had spent the night under a wolf's predatory gaze, unaware she was scant inches from great danger.

He scented Varric coming near, and the warning of his approach was the only thing that kept him alive. Well, that and the fact that he was a beta. He might have bitten an alpha's hand off. He would certainly have tried to keep from killing them though.

Maybe.

Before the dwarf could poke his head in or say his name, Solas exited the tent, being very careful not to touch Ellana as he moved. He told himself it was because he did not want to wake her. That nasty little voice inside him cackled at the notion.

Varric was understandably to see Solas come out, and the elf put a finger to his lips before beckoning him to a spot farther from the tent.

"What are you doing up already?" Varric asked quietly once they were further away.

"I found myself unable to sleep soundly. I have been up for some time and decided to come out. Will I be taking watch soon?" Solas questioned, feigning innocence.

"I was actually just coming to get you. This works, I was worried about waking Freckles. She seems like she'd be grumpy when she wakes up," the dwarf commented with a grin.

Part of Solas wanted to defend her, but he couldn't help snickering as well. She did seem like the type.

"Sorry you couldn't sleep," Varric offered.

Solas shrugged. "I am simply unused to sleeping next to another person. I am sure I will grow accustomed to it." It was the truth.

The rogue grinned. "I bet you will lover boy."

The elf bristled, but refused to rise to Varric's barb. He had rather walked right into that one. The dwarf continued anyway.

"She's gonna notice those puppy dog looks eventually you know."

Solas frowned…Had he been that obvious? He'd really been hoping he was at least hiding his problem, if not solving it. Yet. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Yeah. And I'm ten feet tall and ride a griffon to the Chantry every day."

Considering his earlier conversation with Ellana, Solas couldn't help his lips twitching up into an reluctant smile.

"Seriously though, unless you're gonna make a move, you might want to tone down the eye-fucking a bit. She might sick Cassandra on you."

Solas almost relished the idea of fighting the alpha to release some of this pent-up frustration. _And to remove the threat of her presence,_ part of his mind whispered.

"I'll do what I can," the elf muttered, only serving to make the dwarf laugh again.

Soon enough, Varric released a large yawn and bid Solas a good night, leaving the man to contemplate recent events, staring at the stars.

* * *

She was _tactile,_ he discovered the next day. Far more than his already strained body could handle. It wasn't necessarily that she touched too much, or inappropriately; it was simply that he had been unable to find a thing about her that didn't make him want to take her like some sort of animal.

The touches were perfectly natural – a hand brushing Varric's arm when he made her laugh, a gentle bump of Cassandra's shoulder when she was blustering too much over something. But Solas mostly remembered the touches she gave _him._ She'd nudged his arm when she had a question, grasped his wrist when she'd tripped over a root…thrillingly, her thigh had been brushing his when they stopped to sit and eat. The list of touches was getting long, and as it seemed to soothe the raging wildfire inside him, he decided it couldn't be so bad. It still felt like infuriating agony when she stood too close to Cassandra or some such – he conveniently ignored the fact that that particular feeling was growing worse – but he was learning to manage himself. He was rather proud of his progress actually.

He must have released a tired sigh or something to that effect, because Ellana looked back at him abruptly and slowed down to match pace with him.

"I take it you didn't sleep well last night?" she asked with a wry smile.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You kinda look like shit," she pointed out. There was a laugh in her voice however.

Solas snorted and thought back to the previous night, and the endless hours simply gazing at her, barely managing to hold himself back by strength of will alone. He'd only managed to get some restless sleep during her watch for the night.

"No. I didn't sleep particularly well. I apologize if I woke you at any point."

"Nah. You'd have known if you woke me up. I probably would have zapped your ass."

He chuckled and echoed her earlier question. "I take it you're not a morning person?"

"Not particularly."

He smiled thinking of the conversation he and Varric had held. "I confess I feel much the same way."

She made a humming sound of acknowledgement and they walked in companionable silence.

He wondered if she'd be offended if he snatched her hand so he could bring her wrist to his face and inhale more of her intoxicating scent. He tossed a sidelong glance at her. Probably.

Resisting the urge to sigh at the ridiculous turn of his thoughts – just barely – Solas decided talking might be a helpful distraction. It had help minimally, so far, but it was better than nothing.

"It occurs to me," he began, catching her attention. "That while you have asked quite a bit about me, I have not done the same."

Ellana shrugged, looking rather uncomfortable. "There isn't much to say." Then a grin appeared on her face. "I mean, apart from the whole mysterious mark on my hand that we're trying to power up without really knowing the consequences thing. Boring, I know."

He chuckled, despite knowing that she was attempting to deflect his prodding with humor. "Nevertheless, it was impolite of me to only speak of myself."

She rubbed the back of her neck and shrugged again. "Well…what do you want to know?"

He considered for a moment. _Do you desire me as I desire you? Do you dream of falling apart underneath me as I pleasure you for hours on end? Wonder what my mark will look like upon your neck? The way it will feel when I pound into you from behind, and make you scream so the whole world will know you are mine?_

…He should probably go with something safer.

"Do you have brothers? Sisters?"

"No. Er, well…I don't really know. My clan found me in the forest when I was just a babe; I don't even remember it. Most assumed my parents had been killed by hunters. The children of the clan are raised sort of…communally though, so I always felt like I had family."

There was no particular sadness or wistfulness in her tone. If anything, just a vague sort of curiosity. About what had happened to her parents no doubt. A loose end she'd likely never be able to tie.

"I'm sorry," he said, meaning it. She shrugged once more – a nervous habit perhaps – but then searched his face for a moment and gave him a genuine smile. He wondered what she had seen.

" _Ma serannas, hahren."_

* * *

He asked more about her as they traveled, and slowly, she became more relaxed. He learned that she'd first discovered her magic at age eight – not completely out of the ordinary, but a fairly young age to manifest the talent. She freely admitted she'd been throwing a temper tantrum, and a lightning bolt struck not five feet from her Keeper. She'd apparently always had an affinity for electricity.

"I love the way it makes me feel," she chittered, eyes aglow with restrained passion for her craft. "The way it makes my skin tingle."

He could think of a few other ways to do that.

She'd become First at age nineteen, and told him about how a clanmate of hers had attempted to win her hand immediately upon gaining her tile.

"…then he just drops the wolf pelt in front of me with this smug grin and says 'There. Now you can bond with me.' Like I said, I had no idea he was even planning on asking – not that he really did ask – so that kinda came out of nowhere. What he didn't know was I had seen Talia bring home that pelt that very morning."

Solas laughed. "What did you do?"

An impish smile stretched her lips. "She happened to be passing nearby – stupid oaf didn't even notice her – so I called her over and told her how _nice_ it was of her to just give away the pelt I'd seen her hefting in that morning just so this man could ask me to bond with him. She caught on right away and went with it, and said that she just couldn't stand in the way of true love – after all she wouldn't want someone trying to bribe me into marriage just because of my status, can you imagine? – but, and I quote, 'that's funny, I don't really remember him asking if he could take it."

She paused for a moment to chuckle with him. "We both pretended to be completely shocked. _'Why, you aren't suggesting he_ stole _it, are you Talia?' 'Oh Creators no! Why would he ever do such a thing? Surely he knows I would simply tell the Keeper and let her deal with him if he had. No one is that stupid, I'm sure.'_ He blustered and walked away in a huff, and we had a good laugh." She shook her head at the memory. "I suppose we might have been too harsh with him. _Elgar'nan,_ that was only two years ago. It feels like a lifetime has passed."

Solas nearly stopped in his tracks. "You are only twenty-one?"

She nodded, black curls bouncing. "Mhm. Most people assume I'm older for some reason, don't be embarrassed if you thought the same thing. It doesn't change anything."

It changed _everything._

Because most women went through their first heat in their early twenties. He'd be willing to bet in fact, that twenty-one was the most common age. Which meant…it was perfectly possible that she hadn't been through hers yet. And that she would soon.

He was _already_ driven nearly mad by her scent. Just the thought of her going into her first heat, hot and desperate, _begging_ to be taken, made lust burn sharply through his body, and it took an excessive amount of self-control not to reach for her then. Drag her away, await her cycle, and claim her during her heat, tying them together forever.

Solas shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. He needed to figure out what this thing between them was. Soon. And put a stop to it. Otherwise…he wasn't sure he could keep himself from doing something catastrophic.

* * *

A/N: Ehhhh…weak ending. Sorry again for the delay. It's been hard to focus on story-telling. I got engaged! And moved to a new state!

Thank you to all my reviewers, and I promise I will start thanking you all by name again come next chapter. You guys are awesome sauce!

Happy reading! :)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I can't believe this story has so many followers! You guys are SO amazing! I love you all!

I dunno if this will get popular enough for it but…if I hit 25 reviews, the twenty-fifth reviewer will get a one-shot about anyone from Inquisition. Hope you guys are excited!

* * *

 _Haven_

Books were scattered along the floor and his desk, various others were piled on the nightstand, and there was yet another in Solas' lap. He put the one he was currently reading down on top of the one on his legs and rand a hand over his face, sighing.

Nothing.

They had been back from Haven for two days, and Solas had searched every tome he could possibly find on the biology of alphas and omegas. Not a single one mentioned anything like this. The only thing that even came close was the descriptions of females in their first heats, and how their scent naturally attracted their counterparts, be it alphas or omegas. But Ellana was not in heat – Solas suppressed a shiver as he remembered that she may not have even gone through her first yet.

The first heat was always said to be the strongest. Solas was sure this was largely because at that point, the females had never gone through it, and the sensations were so overwhelming, the memories were scalded into their minds. It tended to become easier with subsequent heats. But the first…Solas had seen females unashamedly _beg_ to be taken, lust clouding their judgment, and seemingly even robbing others of their sanity. He couldn't erase the image of Ellana on her knees before him, eyes hazy with desire, sliding her hands up his thighs and pleading with him to make her his mate. And he would. He'd lift her by her waist – she was such a tiny thing – and lie her face down on his bed. She'd mewl with delight and lift her hips for him, and he'd loom over her, and grab her wrists and –

Solas shook his head to rid himself of the sudden fantasy as he realized his predicament. Ellana was somewhere close and her scent had dragged him into a fog. If you could call unbridled lust that. As the aroma continued to strengthen, he concluded that she must be coming to see him. She had visited him during both days since their return, apparently considering him a friend. While he enjoyed her presence, and their conversations, being around her was…He couldn't kid himself. Part of him _reveled_ in being near the source of that scent, regardless that the urge to claim her was nearly unbearable. Never in his life had he ever considered taking a mate, and now it seemed the conclusion was inevitable.

But he couldn't do that to her. Not when he would have no choice but to leave her.

He took a few moments to pick up some of the books that had fallen to the ground – well, he might have actually thrown two or three in frustration – just in time to hear her knock on the door. He opened it to see her with a pleasant smile on her face.

"Pack it up, we're heading to Val Royeaux."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "And the purpose for this venture is…?" he asked while moving to the side so she could enter.

"Well, I'm sure you've heard that the Chantry has declared the Inquisition heretical," she replied while stepping past him into the house. "And denounced me." An impish grin appeared. "I have to admit I'm kind of proud I made a bunch of stuck up priests huff and puff like that." He almost choked at the huff and puff reference but managed to disguise it with a chuckle at what she next said. " _Oh no, the big bad elf is going to come and blow us all away with her scary Dalish customs, she'll steal our children and drink our blood and dance naked under the moonlight!"_

That image…was not helping matters. After a few moments of inner battling with himself, he came back to reality and continued listening.

"…and she said it might be a good idea if I go speak to the clerics. Cullen didn't like it, and Leliana seemed…concerned I guess, but that's what's happening. Cassandra is getting ready as we speak, and Varric's practically at the gates, so we need to get moving." Ellana abruptly glanced around the room, as though seeing it for the first time. "So…been doing some light reading then?" she asked with a curious smile.

Solas chuckled. "You could say that," he replied nervously, and ushered her out of the shack before she could see any of the titles. She surely wouldn't know what he was looking for, but he didn't want to have to spin another lie should she ask. He wasn't sure what he would tell her. "Have you considered what you will say to them?"

"All I've come up with so far is 'Hey fuckers, get your heads out of your holy asses.'" She shot him an amused glance. "But somehow I don't think that's going to work."

He smiled at her. "I can't imagine it will, no."

Ellana shrugged. "I don't know, I think I might work best in the moment. I'll figure it out when I get there." She blew a dark curl out of her face, and the action seemed like something that she was forced to do often. Solas resisted telling her how adorable it was. "Anyway, meet us at the gate when you're ready. The horses should be ready and waiting for us. Be quick or I'll have Cassandra come and kick your door down." She sent him a wink before walking off to let him know she was kidding, but he had no doubt the alpha would do it if asked. Or just because.

With a grimace, Solas re-entered his home and began packing.

* * *

 _Val Royeaux_

The trip to Val Royeaux was infinitely easier with the horses, if not terribly quicker. Nevertheless, they arrived to the city late in the morning, and Ellana had eased her dedicated pace. She seemed determined to end all the commotion as soon as possible, and Solas wondered if she intended to return to her clan when the Breach had been closed and the Divine's murderer found. That was more than likely, but the thought sent a jab to his heart. Walking into the city did not help. Grief and fear laid upon Val Royeaux like a blanket, heavy and stifling. A glance to his companions showed they all felt it too.

"They city still mourns," Cassandra pointed out. Ellana clenched her fists and then stretched her fingers wide a number of times. She was clearly nervous. It occurred to him her frantic march to the city may have been because of that. She just wanted to get it over with. Talking to humans – especially clerics who would no doubt demean her due to her heritage – couldn't have been easy for her.

After being informed that Templars were in the city, and apparently protecting the people – Solas did wonder what they thought the Inquisition planned on doing exactly – they marched straight toward a preaching Mother.

Within fifteen seconds the woman did in fact declare that an elf could not possibly speak for Andraste. While Solas was sure Ellana agreed, she remained calm, and informed the woman they only wanted to speak peacefully. Her voice was strong and sure, and Solas could feel that force coming from her again, the way it did when she was in battle. He was startled at the feeling of pride that washed over him at her willpower and resolve. He watched her stare down the woman without flinching, and something in his heart twinged unexpectedly. That…was worrisome.

Calm though she looked, he knew she was prepared for the worst, and would jump into action if necessary. His hand involuntarily twitched towards his staff when the Templars came forward. The situation was growing beyond 'tense.'

The punch to the back of the Cleric's head startled them all, and Cassandra actually grabbed the hilt of her sword briefly. The Grand Seeker's speech was even more shocking. Solas had never seen Cassandra look so…vulnerable. Confused. Like she'd just had the rug pulled out from under her. Granted he hadn't known her long, but he got the feeling she didn't feel that way often.

After the Templars left in a frankly overly dramatic manner, and an arrow landed not one foot in front of Ellana – this entire city had a flair for the dramatic apparently – they ran into Grand Enchanter Fiona. Her proposal that the Inquisition work with the mages appeared to intrigue Ellana, though Cassandra had a sour look afterwards.

Working with the mages was an interesting idea. It was possible they would be able to help increase the power in Ellana's mark further, which of course they were all hoping would help close the Breach.

Ellana mentioned they should get supplies while they could, so they each went their separate ways to visit a few merchants. They weren't exactly welcome, but they weren't refused either. Coin could make you forget earlier resentments that way. After browsing a few stalls, Solas entered a book shop, and smiled at the merchant, who was surprisingly friendly. Not everyone could believe they were out to destroy the world he supposed.

Solas walked among the shelves idly, recognizing many of the titles he saw. He was still looking for anything that might explain his strange reaction to Ellana. He'd read most of the books on alphas and omegas that this man had back in Haven…but one caught his eye.

' _Life Mates: Myth or Reality?'_

He paused beside the shelf, and pulled the book from it's place after a brief hesitation. He'd heard of Life Mates. Everyone had. Supposedly, everyone, human, elf, dwarf, or otherwise had a Life Mate somewhere in the world. The one person you were meant to spend your life with. It was said that when you met them, your soul would recognize them instantly, even if your conscious mind didn't. You would be inexplicably drawn to them, and they to you. It was a bond no one could break.

It was a ridiculous notion of course…but Solas couldn't help wondering anyway. The myth had to have come from somewhere, and even though Ellana couldn't possibly be his Life Mate – could a God even have one, if they were real? – it may be possible to trace where the legend had come from, and it _may_ lead him to the answer he sought.

He turned the book over in his hands. It was clearly very old, but he did not see a date anywhere. He gently blew dust off of it, revealing a dark red cover. Carefully, he flipped through a few pages, not wanting to damage it. The pages were in surprisingly good shape, and Solas wondered how many people had read the tome. Evidently not many. The few sentences he read in his brief perusal were surprisingly scientific, and detailed how the body reacted when faced with what the author believed was their Life Mate. There were diagrams, and even a few theories on how such a thing may be possible.

Solas became so wrapped up in the book he didn't notice Ellana approaching until she was nearly at the door. He closed the cover once he scented her however, and moved to the front room to find her exchanging a smile and greeting with the merchant. The man was a beta and the only friendly person they'd met so far, so he lived.

Barely.

"Are you ready to go?" Ellana asked with a bright smile in his direction now. A silly part of him preened at having stolen her attention.

"In just a moment," he replied, and turned to pay the vendor for the book.

" _More_ reading?" Ellana laughed behind him as he pulled out the necessary coin. "Don't your eyes hurt yet?"

He gave a noiseless chuckle and glanced at her. "I'm researching."

"Oh? What about?"

Having finished paying the man, they were now headed toward the door. He took a glance at her lovely face, full lips stretched in a smile, blue eyes dancing.

 _Life Mate…_

Solas cleared his throat, feeling a little embarrassed, and responded. "I'll tell you another time perhaps. For now we should focus on the journey ahead. I'm not certain my studies will even yield any results."

She tilted her head curiously but didn't pry. "Be sure to let me know if you do – all this mystery is sexy, but I hate not knowing things."

She was out of reach by the time he registered what she'd said, and once again he had to stamp down the animalistic part of him that brightened in delight at their woman's approval and demanded he chase after her. Clearly she wanted him too.

He pinched the skin between his eyebrows. This was getting complicated.

…And just when had he started thinking of her as _his_ woman?

* * *

 _Some alley in Val Royeaux_

"Just say 'what.'"

"What is the meaning of – _ahh!_ "

An arrow later the nobleman was dead, and about ten seconds later Solas was pretty sure he'd finally found someone he despised more than the Dalish. Quite a feat. And after fighting with men with no pants – but still their weapons – he was _certain_ he despised her more. Who in their right mind would find a way into their enemies supplies and take their pants instead of their weapons, or even armor?

"But no breeches!"

This woman apparently.

* * *

 _Haven_

Solas, Varric, and Sera were not permitted to attend the party that Ellana had been invited to, so the three of them left for Haven alone, while Cassandra stayed behind as the Herald's protection. Sera had taken an instant dislike to him as well, so thankfully her chatter was directed at Varric most of the way.

When they finally returned, Solas retreated immediately to his home, eager to delve into the tome he'd bought. Or more likely distract himself. He didn't like being so far away from Ellana. He felt…unsettled. Unfinished. Like he'd lost a limb.

He sighed and flopped gracelessly onto his bed, irritated with himself. There was no reason to feel this way. He hardly knew the girl, and yet he mooned over her like a lovesick boy. Reminded of his mission, he pulled the book from his pack, settling into a more comfortable position.

Most of the beginning was centered on what the author believed to be the common misconceptions about Life Mates. For instance, many believed that everyone eventually met their Life Mate, no matter what. According to him, if Life Mates were indeed real, it would instead be quite a rarity for two to actually meet. If your Mate could be born at any time, in any place in the entire world, the chances of the two of you crossing paths would be incredibly unlikely. Those who did meet were a select, and very lucky, few. This solidified Solas' belief that Ellana couldn't possibly be his Life Mate. But curiously, the thought also…hurt somehow. Just a bit.

Shaking off the feeling he kept reading, until he came across something that he thought might be useful. The author had been studying two volunteers who believed they were Life Mates, and he seemed to think so too.

 _'I asked them how it felt when they met, seeing as supposedly, you recognize your Life Mate instantly upon recognizing them. As I mentioned before, they have asked for their names to not be mentioned, so I will simply refer to them as the male and female subjects._

 _When I prompted the male with this question, he responded by saying the following: "It was her scent that really struck me. It still does really. It was like…like sunshine and honeysuckle. I know that doesn't sound particularly special, but for some reason it just drove me insane. I knew right then I would have her as my mate one day, even if I wasn't necessarily thinking 'Life Mate' at the time. But it was like my body already knew we were meant to be together.'_

 _The female responded in a similar manner. 'He smells like mountains and dark forests to me. When I first caught his scent I knew I had to go to him, and I could tell he felt the same thing. I don't know if I could describe how bad the urge was; being away from him, not touching him, actually_ hurt. _Physically. And just looking at him…I knew he was made for me. He made me his Mate as soon as my cycle came around, and we've been together ever since._

 _More studying will need to be done, but the both of them mentioning the other's scent is interesting. This may be the 'lightning bolt' that is often spoke of when discussing Life Mates. They did not necessarily know they were fated to be together – if that is indeed the case. However they were clearly drawn to one another biologically. More testing is necessary…'_

Solas lowered the book, contemplating. This was nearly exactly what had happened to him, only…Ellana seemed unfazed by his presence, whereas he was having to fight to keep his hands from her.

 _He made me his Mate as soon as my cycle came around…_

A thought occurred to him, and Solas flipped madly through the pages, searching, until he found a passage talking about cycles and the way they could affect Life Mates.

 _It is common knowledge that when a female goes through her first heat, she feels an intense urge to breed, and that she senses the differences between alphas, omegas, and betas more definitively afterwards. Simply nature's way of attempting to force us to procreate, and not to impregnate a female too soon, as that could cause the child and the mother harm. I believe however, that it may be impossible for a female who has not had her first heat to recognize her Life Mate, were she to meet them that soon. Females do not experience the need to reproduce until this time, and most do not even wish to engage in intercourse until its occurrence. The need merely does not exist in them yet._

Now Solas placed the book on his nightstand, mind racing. With the discovery of Ellana's age, and the possibility of her not having experienced her first heat…this changed even more. So much more. If…if the author was correct in his hypothesis, then it could mean Ellana would feel the same need he did after her heat was complete. It could mean that she was his…that they were…

Was it possible?

Could Ellana be his Life Mate?

* * *

A/N: UGH I fully admit, writing this chapter felt like trying to tunnel through a brick wall with a plastic spoon. There was so little fun stuff. I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!

Happy reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I want to thank you guys for your support and kind words since I left. My fiancé and I have since talked and things are better than ever between us. :) Speaking of which I have a wedding website up, and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in seeing it? If so I will post a link on my profile. Just say the word!

Since I took so ridiculously long getting this to you, the first part of the chapter is my gift to you.

* * *

 _Haven_

" _Solas…"_

Ellana moaned and arched beneath him, offering herself wantonly. Solas grinned and stroked his hands along her torso, gazing at her body. Her warm, tawny skin glowed in the waning sunlight, and Solas finally saw that her freckles spread all along her, dancing up and down her arms and legs, scattered across her chest and belly. Her midnight curls spread across the pillows, tempting him to sink his fingers into them. Ellana released a breathy groan and wrapped a lithe leg around his waist.

" _Please…"_

Solas gripped her hips and pulled her close. She mewled happily at his aggression and spread her knees wider for him. Suppressing a shudder, Solas loomed over her and placed his head at her entrance and –

Solas sat straight up with a gasp breathing hard. Visions of Ellana laid out before him like a banquet danced before his eyes, and he groaned, falling back to the bed and throwing an arm over his face. A deep inhale told him the problem. Ellana was awake, and near. Not coming any closer it seemed, but she was close all the same. He'd obviously scented her in sleep and her aroma had influenced his dreams. His blood burned at the memory. She was close – he could go out there, find her easily, and drag her back to his home. He could have her just the way he'd dreamed…

A grimace formed on his lips. Ever since he'd read that damnable book and begun wondering if Life Mates could in fact be real, she was harder to ignore than ever. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but…he couldn't stay away from her. Whenever she came to visit him at his home he kept thinking of reasons to get her to stay, he'd actually _asked_ to go with her when she went to meet Blackwall and then later to hire the Chargers. He couldn't bear the thought of being away from her for so long. He craved her company, the sound of her voice, her curious mind and delightful laughter. He'd taken to walking quietly around her so that he could stare at her without the threat of being noticed, and would sigh at her beauty.

The vision that was her reminded him of his dream, and the throbbing need between his legs that refused to be calmed. Unless he did something about it.

He tightened his jaw. It was wrong. She was his friend. The Herald. He may desire her, but to pleasure himself to the thought of her…

A slow inhale of air dashed with her perfume sent a slither of pleasure to his cock and a choked moan escaped him. It was so, so wrong…

With an exhale of defeat Solas reached down and palmed himself, neck muscles tightening at the pleasure.

Ellana's image swam before him, her slim, naked body fidgeting shyly, her teeth lightly digging into her plump lower lip.

Wrong.

He dragged his hand up.

She lowered herself to her knees and gazed up at him, limpid blue eyes glassy with lust.

So wrong.

He squeezed, twisted, and pulled down.

She flicked her tongue over the tip of his head experimentally and smiled at the taste with a little hum of appreciation. She then dragged her tongue slowly over it again, before giving it a twirl.

Solas tugged back upward and circled his thumb in time to the imagined motions of her tongue.

She slowly took him in her mouth, sucking just on the tip and swirling the wet little muscle. Then she took him in further, and pulled back. When she bobbed again, she accepted even more of his length.

Solas started to rock his hips.

Finally she took all of him in, and stretched her tongue out to lick more. She moaned, and the vibration wrung a strangled groan out of him. Up and down she went, slowly at first, and then gaining speed. Her tongue twirled, her lips sucked, her throat swallowed. Everything was so perfect, wet, hot, and tight and –

Solas bucked into his hand as he came, bliss washing over him like a wave. His body shuddered forcefully, and distantly he recognized the wetness on his fingers.

As the shivers slowed, the euphoria flowing through him was increasingly replaced by guilt. He'd _known_ what he was doing was wrong, and yet he'd still…

Disgusted with himself Solas stood angrily and stomped over to retrieve a cloth and clean himself.

* * *

A few hours later, Solas had just managed to pull himself out of the wash of guilt that had overcome him when there was a pounding at the door. He'd scented Ellana coming long beforehand, so he wasn't surprised, but he frowned at the new smells he now noticed due to her proximity. The sharp tang of anger tinged the air, laced with…not fear exactly, but he knew she was concerned about something. He moved quickly to open the door, and Ellana stomped in, muttering broken phrases and curses in both the common tongue and Elven. A few moments passed as she paced around his home looking about ready to tear someone's throat out. When a full minute had passed without her explaining what was wrong, Solas cleared his throat.

"Ellana?" her gaze shot to him. "Care to explain this bout of wrath?"

Her face cleared for a moment, as though she was surprised by the question, and then she scowled.

"I have to decide," she snapped. "Between the Mages and the Templars. Whoever is gonna help me with this…" she waved vaguely towards her marked hand, expression beginning to devolve into frustration rather than rage. "This…stupid thing."

Solas raised his eyebrows. "I thought you wanted to ask the mages."

" _I_ do. But Cullen wants to bring the Templars, and I know Cassandra thinks we should too. Meanwhile Josephine and Leliana want to go with the Mages. It's a completely even divide."

Baffled, Solas crossed his arms. "But with your vote…"

" _Solas,"_ she implored, though he had no idea what she was asking for. She was looking progressively more panicked. "You don't…it shouldn't be my decision!"

Ellana abruptly collapsed onto a chair, face in her hands. "They all argue and can't decide what to do, and then they look at _me_ like I have all the answers!" A sob escaped her, tugging at Solas' heart, and he involuntarily reached out to her, but she rose from her chair before he could touch her, and began pacing again, angrily wiping her tears away. "I wouldn't even _be_ here if it wasn't for this mark. I'm not anyone special! I was _spying_ at the Conclave, I shouldn't have even been there! I'm not the Inquisitor, I'm not any sort of leader, but they keep asking me to make decisions! Figure out how to help the villagers in Redcliffe, decide who needs to join the Inquisition, choose between the _fucking_ mages and Templars and risk siding yourself in a _war!_ 'Cause that's what's going to happen! No matter who I pick, the others will see it as an attack on them!I…" She stopped once again and looked at him helplessly. "I can't do this Solas."

Invisible cords yanked at him, demanding he go to her and soothe her worries, hold her and tell her everything would be alright. He hovered in place uncertainly. They may be forming a bond, but how close did she see them? Would she accept his comfort? She had come to him, he supposed…So surely she wanted his help?

After another hesitant moment, Solas stepped toward her and gently urged her to sit down. She put her face in her hands again, and Solas was dismayed to see her shoulders tremble. She was close to crying again.

"Ellana…" he began, then amended himself. " _Da'len._ " Surprised, Ellana looked up at him. "I have never met anyone like you. In the face of all of this you have stood strong, never once backed down from a challenge. You are right – you were thrown into this without so much as a warning, and yet easily managed all the responsibilities suddenly placed upon you." She snorted once and he smiled softly. "You may believe it wasn't easy, but I cannot think of a single person who would have fared as well as you have." He took a slow breath before continuing. "I believe in you, Ellana Lavellan. You are the leader this Inquisition needs. If anyone can lead us on the proper path, you can."

Solas sat back, not realizing he had been leaning forward during his speech. Ellana watched him for a long, silent moment, looking pensive. Finally though, she stood and held out her hand.

"Come with me," she said simply.

He raised an eyebrow, but dutifully took her hand, and allowed her to lead him.

* * *

She walked quickly, head held high, steps sure and steady. In no time, they were striding into the war room, their entrance instantly snapping four sets of eyes in their direction. Murmurs and exclamations of surprise escaped them as Ellana marched to the table and placed her hands atop it. Solas abruptly realized she had walked out in the middle of a meeting.

"We're going to Redcliffe to meet with the mages," she announced, voice firm. She clearly would brook no argument.

"Herald," Cullen immediately protested. "The Templars would-"

"Probably rebuff us the same way the did in Orlais," she said, cutting him off. "I'm a mage, Cullen. Even if they did consent to speak with us, there is a very good chance they would turn us down simply because of that. There may be a few mage sympathizers, but they will likely still submit to Lucius, whom we know will not be swayed. The mages may be willing to ally themselves with us, and we will likely gain their loyalty afterwards. This is the right decision."

Cullen still looked dubious, but reluctantly nodded and stepped back. Cassandra had a similar look, however she simply pursed her lips and set about planning the details for the venture. After a brief discussion, they declared the end of the meeting, and began filing out of the room. Solas noticed Josephine give Ellana a bright smile as she passed, which Ellana returned. He wondered if they were becoming friends. Oddly, the thought didn't bother him. He had assumed that if an omega tried to get close to her, that would cause the same reaction in him that alphas did all the time. Perhaps he was finally beginning to not be so affected by her?

Then Ellana turned around and looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes, biting her lip. Heat seared his skin, clawed its way through his veins. Vividly he remembered the image he'd spun of her in his mind scant hours before, and the imagined feel of her mouth on his cock. He balled his hands into fists behind his back, nails digging into his palms.

…No. Nothing had changed at all.

Solas cleared his throat. "Not that I didn't enjoy the display," he almost choked at the unintended double entendre "But may I ask why you brought me here?"

She glanced away and wrung her fingers together, a nervous expression crossing her features. "It's just…well, I know we haven't known eachother long, but I do consider you a friend Solas, and I guess I…wanted you to be proud of me." She rubbed her neck in a very Cullen-like way. "That probably sounds dumb."

Solas smiled gently. "Not at all, _da'len._ I _am_ proud. You stood up for what you believed in and made the decision you believed was best for everyone." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "…You would make a fine Inquisitor."

Ellana beamed. " _Hahren,_ you are a flatterer." She chuckled as she passed him, but paused in the doorway and looked back over her shoulder with a sultry look. "And flattery will get you _everywhere._ " She drawled before sauntering off. Solas had to physically lean against the war table for support, knees having suddenly gone weak.

Pathetic.

* * *

 _Redcliffe_

The moment they stepped through the doors to the tavern they knew something was wrong.

Travelling, a surprisingly cheerful mood had overtaken the group. Ellana had chosen Varric and the Iron Bull to accompany them this time, and Solas found himself smiling more often than usual. Despite the Qunari's size and demeanor, he was a beta, and the respite for Solas' senses was a relief he did not take for granted. The man was also enjoyable to talk to, his sharp mind an unexpected delight. The four had talked animatedly most of the way.

The fight at the gates however, and it's oddities, had sent them all into a quiet unease however, and the tavern raised the hairs on the back of the elf's neck. Something was not right.

Fiona approached them with a grim look. "Welcome, agents of the Inquisition."

Ellana bowed her head slightly and murmured a greeting herself. "It is a pleasure to see you again Grand Enchanter."

Fiona opened her mouth as if to say something but then shut it again with a grimace before continuing, presumably in a different direction. "What has brought you to Redcliffe?"

Standing at her side and slightly behind her, Solas saw confusion flit across Ellana's face. "…I'm confused. We're here because of your invitation in Val Royeaux."

The same look flickered on Fiona's face, and Solas almost felt the hackles of his wolf rising. This was not good.

"You must be mistaken. I haven't been to Val Royeaux since the Conclave."

Solas saw Ellana's hand twitch – an aborted move to grab her staff. Her unease rippled off of her in palpable waves. "If it wasn't you I met, then who was it?"

A confused and slightly panicked look formed on the Grand Enchanter's face. "I…I don't know. Now that you say it…I feel strange." The woman took a steadying breath, visibly calming herself. Her mouth set into a grim line once again. "Whoever, or whatever brought you here…the situation has changed." Fiona took a step back, as though she was somewhat afraid. "The free mages have already…pledged themselves to the Tevinter Imperium."

Silence reigned for a moment before Varric sighed loudly. "Andraste's ass. I'm trying to think of a single worse thing you could have done. And I've got nothing."

"I understand that you are afraid," Solas interjected, sympathy and frustration filling him in equal measure. "But you deserve better than slavery to Tevinter."

"As one indentured to a magister," Fiona said, though the words had a resigned tone to them. "I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you."

Ellana ran an exasperated hand through her hair, and a few curled strands escaped their tie. _"Fine._ Then who do I speak to?"

As one, the group felt a presence behind them, and turned to see a man with a seemingly permanent smug grin on his face.

"Welcome my friends!" Magister Alexius exclaimed gleefully. "I apologize for not getting to you earlier."

After a tense conversation with Alexius that had gotten them _nowhere_ , and a cryptic message from Felix that they were in danger, they'd come to the Chantry, only to discover a mustached man and an out-of-control rift. Between the five of them, they dispatched the demons fairly quickly, and Ellana closed the rift with practiced ease. Solas wondered if her hand still hurt when she closed them and had just stopped saying anything. He endeavored to ask her about it back at Haven. He might be able to find a way to at least relieve her of pain.

As everyone began assessing their injuries the man sauntered over to Ellana, an intrigued look on his face. The expression had Solas holding back a snarl. She was _his._

"Fascinating," the man mused. "How does that work exactly?" Ellana just looked at him rather helplessly and shrugged. He laughed. "You don't even know do you? You just wiggle your fingers, and boom! Rift closes."

The man's flamboyant nature was absolutely _exuding_ from him, and Solas rolled his eyes, sure Ellana would rebuff him as she did most men. But to his surprise, he heard her giggle. _Giggle._

"Pretty much," she chortled. "We're all just sort of winging it." The man joined in her laughter for a moment and Solas forced himself to recite the names of The Pantheon silently in order to keep from murdering the man.

It was a surprisingly effective ritual, probably due to the pain and guilt the names brought him. Hurt though it did, it also _distracted_ him. The man – who was named Dorian, he heard distantly – was an omega, but it was in no way uncommon for two people of the same sexual-type to become mates, and this was the first man Solas had seen Ellana so quickly warm up to. An unpleasant heat spread from his stomach to rest of his body.

 _Eventually_ they got down to business, and Ellana inquired about Felix's whereabouts, including his strange episode in the tavern. Dorian assured her everything was fine, and briefly explained his theory on how Alexius had gotten to the mages so quickly.

"Time magic?" Ellana asked, incredulous. "So…you think he arranged it so he could arrive here right after the Divine died."

"You catch on quick."

"That is fascinating, if true," said Solas as he stepped up beside Ellana, unwilling to leave her so close to the man any longer. "…and almost certainly dangerous."

"Undoubtedly," Dorian responded, a grim set to his mouth. Well, at least he was smart. "The rift you closed here? You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down. Soon there will be more like it, and they'll appear further and further away from Redcliffe. The magic Alexius is using is unstable…and it's unraveling the world."

* * *

The ride back to Haven had been frantic, and the consecutive ride _back_ to Redcliffe _again_ was even worse. On little sleep, and in a foul mood, Ellana led them into the castle, brushing off the guards with a comment about he and Varric being her attachés. A glance passed between the guards at that. A stranger group of attachés had never been seen, surely. Nevertheless, at their dubious expressions, Ellana gave them a hard look, and the guards merely gulped and let them pass. Solas smiled inwardly at her power.

It was difficult not to look around during the conversation as guards were stealthily murdered all around them, completely under Alexius' nose. But he managed.

"The Elder One has power you would not believe. He will raise the Imperium from it's own ashes."

"Who is the Elder One?" Ellana asked in a strong voice. "Is he the one who killed the Divine? Is he a mage?"

 _Yes, good, keep him talking da'len,_ Solas thought to himself. A guard to his right died silently.

"Soon he will become a _God_ ," Alexius hissed.

There was a brief argument between them all about what the mages really needed, and then Solas heard Felix mention something called The Venatori. He noted the word and decided he would search for who they might be as soon as possible.

Eventually, Alexius gave up pretenses and ordered his guards to capture Ellana. Only to discover…

"Your men are dead, Alexius." Ellana declared. "It's over."

Alexius looked briefly horrified, then outraged. He stalked toward Ellana with a growl on his lips. "You…were a mistake. You never should have existed." Too late, Solas noticed him holding an amulet in his hand, and magic began crackling in the air. He reached for his staff, but he was moving too slow, too slow…

" _NO!"_ Dorian cried, and swung his staff at the man, magic forcing him backward, and the amulet jumped in his hands. A vortex suddenly burst into existence, sucking everything near it in.

Ellana was standing too close.

" _Ellana!"_ Solas called for her, and she turned with the word 'hahren' on her lips, but he couldn't hear her. She reached out for him…

And then she was gone.

* * *

Phew, this took a while. It's pretty long too. I hope you guys liked it!

I want to thank each and every one of you guys for your kind support! Your words were very helpful to me, and spurred me on to continue :)

Special thanks to SarahCastle, Dani.777, , and XinconcievableX for your reviews! You guys are rock stars!

Happy reading! :)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This chapter is probably gonna end up being a little shorter than the rest. :( Sorry! Hopefully a certain part of this will make up for it ;)

* * *

 _Redcliffe - one month later_

 _Drip…_

 _Drip…_

It was cold, and damp in his cell. But his numbness had nothing to do with the bone-chilling temperature.

Ellana was dead.

He'd tried to deny it at first. There was no body – so surely that meant she could be alive, right? But from the moment she had disappeared through that portal, the bestial part of him that had once howled in lust for her had been screaming in pain. It was like half of himself had been ripped away, and he was left feeling bereft and unfinished. Slowly, the inner screaming had quieted, but not from healing.

From defeat.

Solas winced in pain as he felt the red lyrium burn through his veins. It was an agonizing process – but the detachment of his inner self buffered it somewhat. And he couldn't help succumbing more and more to the relieving cold. He knew he was allowing himself to deteriorate somewhat…but he couldn't bring himself to care.

He'd failed.

The kingdom of the Elves was no more.

The world was descending into darkness.

Ellana was dead.

What was left to live for?

* * *

 _Redcliffe – three months later_

Solas opened his eyes blearily and stared almost unseeing into the dim light of the cell. A red haze was beginning to form around him, and he could see his veins more clearly under his skin – the almost bulged out from his body. He had no doubt they would turn red soon as well. The pain had reached an excruciating level – but he had withdrawn into his own mind, into a dark and desolate place. The pain was not gone, but nearly.

It occurred to him that maybe if he filled this hole in his mind, the place where he retreated – _failed, disappointed, worthless_ – with something to distract him, he may be able to block it out completely.

Solas closed his eyes again…and thought of Ellana.

Not a day had gone by that she hadn't crossed his mind in some fashion or another. He remembered the first day he'd seen her – the confusion at his severe reaction to her presence, the first time he'd seen her fight. She'd reminded him of a storm – graceful and beautiful, yet powerful and deadly. The first smile he'd seen of hers, thrown over her shoulder at Varric. The first directed at him when they passed each other at Haven. Her laugh. The way she'd batted her eyelashes and flirted so innocently with him. The freckles on her cheeks. Her wild blue eyes.

Lost in memories, Solas descended once again…

 _Redcliffe – six months later_

He loved her, he realized now.

It was so _obvious_ now, when there was nothing he could do about it. _But you would have hurt her anyway, because you're the mistake and were unworthy of her affection._ His insane jealousy, his worry for her, the way he'd felt like he was incomplete when she was gone. It was more than just instincts due to her being his Life Mate – yes, he accepted that too. She was his. Had been made for him. _You never could have had her anyway._ And he'd squandered what little time he had with her. _Another failure._

If he'd known…

No.

Solas closed his eyes. He didn't dare dream what he'd do if he could go back and tell her now – such fantasies were for those with hope.

And he was a dead man.

* * *

 _Redcliffe – eight months later_

"…it's gonna be okay, I promise..."

"…I'm coming for you…"

"…You'll get out of this alive…"

Solas closed his eyes, trying to will the vision in front of him away, but it did nothing to stop the voice in his head. Ellana had been appearing in front of him more and more often, and he was well aware he was hallucinating. She would continually promise him escape, that she would be with him soon; that it would be all over soon. Some stupid part of him still thought there was a chance he could get out of here, and that they could be together somehow.

Stupid. Stupid.

 _Failure. Worthless. You failed._

He shook his head and opened his eyes to a once again empty cell.

A long sigh escaped him and he leaned back against the wall. He was so tired. Of this cell, of the silence, of existing. He just wanted it to be over.

 _You did this to yourself. You deserve nothing else._

"You deserve more than this, Solas, don't tell yourself that."

His eyes zeroed in on Ellana's visage which had suddenly appeared in another corner. _Dammit._

He closed his eyes again. "You are not real. Leave me."

"No, I'm not," she said, which surprised him. "But you're losing yourself Solas. You have to stay strong if we're going to be together again."

"You're _dead,_ " he snarled.

"You don't know that!" she snapped back, and he opened his eyes to look at her, painful as it was. The black curls cascading over her shoulders, free from it's tie in his mind. Her too-blue eyes. The scar over her left brow. The freckles trailing over her face and arms. He could remember every perfect detail of her, and it was agony to see. "You know Alexius was experimenting with time magic. I could be alive and well somewhere, looking for you!"

"A ridiculous thing to hope for," he said through gritted teeth. He would not succumb again. It wasn't worth it. "You are gone, and these visions of you do nothing but prolong the pain. Leave me."

"Solas, please, don't give up hope on-"

" _Leave me!"_ he roared, and through a nearby rock at the image of his lost love. By the time he looked up again, she had disappeared once more, and his mind was silent.

Solas slid down the wall and closed his eyes once more.

* * *

 _Redcliffe – ?_

He'd kept track at first, of how long he'd been here…but had long since stopped caring. Why did it matter? Why did he even keep eating, keep breathing, keep _thinking_? None of it mattered. _You don't matter. You are nothing._ This was it – the end of the world. What little news he heard came from the guards when they bothered to bring him food. They would tease and goad him, brag about how well their plan had gone, how the Elder One now ruled all, how the Herald had never had a chance. _She hadn't – you took that away._ They'd throw stones at him, occasionally come in and beat him, all in an attempt to get a rise out of him.

Solas never blinked.

Not because he was strong. Because he was weak. _Weak and pathetic._ Ellana was gone, and he was nothing but a husk of a man now. He'd let a girl worm her way into his heart and turn him into…No. No it wasn't her fault. Never hers. It had been him. He was the one who had let himself become this way, and he was the one who'd let the world go to Hell. It was all his fault. _Always yours, you are a failure._

He opened his eyes blearily for a moment to see Ellana standing in the corner of his cell, gazing at him helplessly. She had been silent for days now, though the image of her did not leave him. Under his stare, she shook her head sadly and turned away, disappearing from sight.

A vague glance at his arm showed red veins pulsing beneath his skin, and he could actually see the lyrium ooze through them with each beat of his heart. He was nothing but a vessel for it now.

A vessel for pain.

For guilt.

Loss.

Failure.

 _And that's all you deserve._

"…hey…hey! I said, you even gonna eat this?"

Distantly, Solas realized a guard was at the gate to his cell, presumably bringing a meal. The smell didn't even rouse his stomach. There was nothing left for him.

"Fine, I'll eat it then. Rot in here for all I care."

The guards footsteps faded away, and Solas drifted back into his dreamlike state. Maybe now he would drift away from this world entirely. He'd lived too long. Maybe it was finally time.

* * *

 _Redcliffe – One Year Later_

He had been floating in his own mind for so long, at this point he was certain he hovered on the edge of sanity. Wouldn't it be better to just make the leap? Perhaps he could really pretend he was somewhere else, that it was all over. Maybe he would think he was with Ellana again. Or perhaps he would really die. He knew his body was beginning to give out. He'd never given the afterlife much thought, but it did occur to him now that there might not even be one. The thought brought him nothing but relief. There would at last be an end.

There was a near-forgotten twinge in his stomach that he at first didn't even notice, lost in the fog as he was. But it grew, and heated, and finally there was a burn inside him that he couldn't ignore. Curious, he rose above the tide for the first time in months, his mind beginning to clear. The burning was…

 _It can't be…_

Solas rose to his feet, and was surprised when he stumbled. His legs were shaking. How long had he been on the ground? He staggered over to the cell door and gripped the bars for support, taking in a large gulp of air. And then another. And one more to be sure.

Fire burned through his veins with each breath, lighting him aflame from the inside out. For the first time that he could remember, he relished the tortuous blaze. It was Ellana. She was here. He didn't know why, or how, but she was in Redcliffe. Perhaps…perhaps he would live after all? Hope began to trickle back into his heart.

 _Ellana…_

Her intoxicating scent had increased slowly, driving him to an entirely different kind of madness. Yet, he felt more clear-headed than he had in months. Finally, he could hear the wet tap of footsteps.

Hesitantly, he called out. "E-Ellana…?" he walked to the gate and gripped the bars uncertainly.

There was a pause, and then a quick pitter-patter as the person – Ellana, please, let it be her – ran closer. At last, she came into view. An inhuman sound escaped Solas. Some mix of a sigh, a sob, and a whimper. " _Ellana,"_ he gasped, and she rushed forward, wrapping her fingers around his own. Liquid heat slithered through him, starting at their joined hands. "You're alive! I thought…"

"The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time," Dorian offered when he trailed off. So much time had passed, Solas had nearly forgotten the man's name. He belatedly noticed that Varric stood idly by as well. "We just got here, so to speak."

Ellana swiftly unlocked the gate as Dorian spoke, and Solas did his best not to stumble as he left the cell for the first time in…he had no idea how long. He gripped Ellana's wrist when she came near.

"I am so glad you're alright," he breathed. He could actually scent Varic's surprise at that one, but the dwarf did nothing besides raise his eyebrows. Solas afforded him the briefest of glances before returning to the situation at hand. "Is there a way to reverse the process?" he asked, addressing both Dorian and Ellana. "Perhaps you could return and prevent the events of the last year." his mind continued to clear and his natural time-keeping kicked in, alerting him to how long he had been captive. "It may not be too late…"

Ellana gave a huffing sort of snort. "I'm glad you understood what he just said because I sure didn't."

Solas offered a wry smile. "You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes." He became pensive, his expression darkening. "You would be wrong." Ellana shot him a confused look and he quickly backtracked. "But you know nothing of this world. It is far worse than you understand."

Solas told her briefly of Alexius' effects on the world, and of Empress Celene's assassination. Ellana looked horrified, but determined. She asked only that he help her find Alexius so that they could return to the past.

"My life is yours, Ellana," he said. Her eyebrows shot up and he mentally cursed himself. "If there is any way to help, of course it is." He added. A dubious look crossed her face, but she let it go, and they filed out of the dungeon.

"You got it _bad_ , Chuckles," Varric murmured as he passed. Solas scowled, but said nothing.

* * *

Leliana's attitude clearly hurt Ellana, and he wondered if the two of them had become close at some point as well. The elf looked rather like a kicked puppy, and he was hard pressed not to cradle her close and snarl at the spy for hurting his mate.

His mate. His Life Mate. She was _here._ It was still hard to believe, no matter how much he stared at her. And stare he did. Openly. She caught him once or twice, and would then flush and turn away. He didn't care. If this didn't work, it could very well be the last time they ever saw each other, and he wanted to look his fill. She was his mate and he could look upon her if he wished. They may not have given their mating marks, but that changed nothing. She was his.

They trekked upward through the castle, defeating a number of rifts and ridiculous puzzles the magister had set up. It still amazed Solas to see Ellana in battle. Such power coming from such a frail slip of a thing was incredible.

…Had she always been that small? It occurred to him that she may have lost weight since this whole debacle began. He scowled to himself. Perhaps his past self would notice and take proper care of her. Their mate needed to eat.

Finally, they arrived in the throne room. Alexius' eyes were glazed with a madness that had not been there before, and Felix looked ready to keel over. Which was not helped by the blade that was soon pressed to his throat.

"Leliana, _no!_ " Ellana begged as the woman pressed the blade closer to the boy's jugular.

"Felix!" Alexius cried out.

" _That's_ Felix?" Dorian said incredulously. Solas was surprised to feel sorry for the man. "Maker's breath Alexius, what have you done?"

Alexius pleaded with Leliana to release his son, and promised to give them anything they wanted. The woman would not listen.

"I want the world back," she snarled, and slit the boy's throat.

"No!" the magister exclaimed. His son's body fell to the ground, and he instantly turned on Leliana, striking her down.

Solas could feel Ellana's palpable frustration and anger, and it fueled her power in the consecutive battle. It was difficult, and none were without wounds in the end…but they won.

Dorian was clearly despondent over the death of his former master and friend, but Ellana managed to comfort him somewhat with the knowledge that they might still be able to save them. Determination lit the man's eyes, and he told them he'd need an hour to work out the spell the man had used in the past.

"An _hour?!_ "Leliana snapped. "Impossible! You must go now!"

The castle shook, a distant roar was heard, and Solas closed his eyes mournfully. They were too late. If the Elder One was here…

Varric nudged Solas' arm and gave him a hard look. The message in his eyes was clear. Solas returned the grim look and nodded.

"Ellana," he began quietly. "We'll hold them off. The two of you work on the spell. You _must_ return and prevent this timeline."

Eyes wide, she shook her head frantically. " _No._ I won't let you commit suicide!"  
"Look at us!" Leliana demanded. "We are already dead! The only way we live is if this day never comes." There was another roar outside, and he and Varric turned for the door. "Cast your spell," Leliana continued. "You have as much time as I have arrows."

There was a brief silence, before it was suddenly broken by Ellana. "Solas!" he turned as she rushed forward to him. He could practically feel Leliana's disapproval, but she was thankfully silent. Varric continued on, and they were left somewhat alone. "If this is the last time I see you…I just wanted to tell you I…" she appeared conflicted. "I mean I don't know if I…I just…"

"Ellana," Solas said gently. He hesitated for a moment, and then said " _Var lath vir suledin._ "

Her eyes blew open wide at his confession, and her voice appeared to fail her. He didn't care. He had told her, that was what mattered. He loved her, and he only hoped that his past self would realize it as well before it was too late. Whatever time they could have together, even if it was brief, he wanted. It was worth it. She was worth it.

In a split second decision, Solas cupped the back of her neck and pressed his lips to her forehead. She stiffened, and he immediately turned away, walking silently to the doors. It would be a fitting end then. If he had to die, he would be glad it was in attempt to save his mate.

She was worth everything.

* * *

The battle was gruesome, and though he and Varric fought valiantly, they each soon fell. A demon slashed at his chest, another at his legs, and he fell backwards as they broke through the doors. With his last strength, he managed to turn on his side, and watch to make sure Ellana succeeded. He watched as they overpowered Leliana, and continued forward. Watched as Ellana and Dorian struggled with the amulet…and suddenly, the portal ripped through the air. Ellana looked back, and though she did not catch his gaze, he studied the emotions on her face with his final breath.

Briefly, she looked horrified, heartbroken, and defeated. But in an instant, it changed, and her expression became…murderous. Deadly. This was his Life Mate, the determined woman who would never let this come to pass, who would fell all in her way. Had he the strength, he would have smiled. She was going to prevail, he knew it.

The portal widened, and she began to fade away. As darkness closed in on him, his final thought was for her.

 _Go vhenan._

 _Show them what an omega can do._

* * *

 _Redcliffe - Present Day_

Just as quickly as the portal closed, it suddenly ripped its way open again, and with such force it knocked them all backward. Solas was sure he felt a sort of ripple go through the air, and it pulled the breath from his lungs for a moment. Something had changed, something big. What it was, he did not know, but he knew Ellana had been the cause of it.

 _Ellana…_

He sat bolt upright, searching for her. She had disappeared when the portal had, but now there she stood, looking…lethal.

Immediately she strode to Alexius, unsheathing her staff. Electricity crackled down its length and up her arm. She was positively _furious_ , and he doubted the man had long to live.

"You'll have to do better than that," Dorian said in an almost sing-song voice. Solas got the feeling he was as impressed by Ellana's ire as he was.

The magister fell to his knees, and Ellana pulled up short, the lightning fading. She stared at the man for a long moment.

"You failed, Alexius. What do you have to say in your defense?"

The man merely shrugged. In a chagrined voice, he said, "You won. There is no point in extending this charade." He turned to his son as the boy approached. "Felix…"  
Solas turned away from the private moment until the guards took the magister away. He then turned to join Ellana and Dorian.

"Well, I'm glad that's over with!" the man exclaimed jovially. Ellana snorted. He wondered what exactly they had been through. Just then, armed guards marched their way into the castle, smartly taking places at perfectly measured points and standing at attention in the hall. "…or not." Dorian muttered.

King Alistair Theirin strode into the room, a rather furious expression on his face now. "Grand Enchanter," he said in a mockingly pleased tone. "Imagine how surprised I was to learn you'd given Redcliffe Castle away to a Tevinter magister."

"King Alistair!" Fiona exclaimed, cautiously approaching from her spot near the wall. "A-And Queen Ashlyn…"

Solas glanced over to see the Hero of Ferelden storming down the hall after her husband, looking more exasperated than anything. Her bright red hair was in a mass of wild curls about her face, and she looked about ready to wring the King's neck.*

"Especially since I'm fairly sure Redcliffe belongs to Arl Teagan," Alistair continued in that mocking tone as his wife came to stand beside him.

"Your Majesty, we never intended…" Fiona attempted to plead with him.

"I know what you intended," Alistair cut her off. "I wanted to help you, but you've made it impossible."

"Alistair," the Queen seemed to be trying to calm him, but he only shook his head. The Hero crossed her arms. She was clearly not pleased.

The King was quiet briefly before he continued. "You and your followers are no longer welcome in Ferelden," he decreed.

Fiona looked horrified, and Solas could swear he saw the Queen roll her eyes. "But…we have hundreds who need protection!" The Grand Enchanter cried out. "Where will we go?"

Ellana looked pensive for a moment. "The Inquisition might be willing to take in the mages," she said in a strong voice.

Fiona seemed surprised. "And what are the terms of this arrangement?"

"Hopefully better than what Alexius gave you," Dorian drawled. "The Inquisition _is_ better than that, yes?"

Ellana looked to Varric who only held up his hands, apparently staying out of it. She then glanced to Solas. He gave her the slightest of nods. It was her decision.

"It seems we have little choice but to accept whatever you offer," Fiona said resignedly.

Ellana gave her a sharp nod. "Then we would be honored to have fight as allies at the Inquisition's side."

"Then I'll pray that the Inquisition honors your promise."

"The Breach threatens all of Thedas," Ellana said harshly. "We cannot afford to be divided now. We can't fight without you. Any chance of success requires your full support."  
"I'd take that offer if I were you," the King cut in. "One way or another, you're leaving my kingdom." The Queen gave him a menacing look, and whispered something angrily to him. He couldn't be sure, but Solas thought it was something along the lines of 'we'll talk about this later.'

Fiona seemed conflicted, but turned to Ellana once again. "We accept. It would be madness not to." She released a small sigh. "I will ready my people for the journey to Haven…The Breach will be closed. You will not regret giving us this chance."

Fiona left with a hurried bow to the royals, and Alistair turned to leave as well. The Queen threw up her hands in a frustrated move, and approached the Herald. They spoke quietly for a moment, and both smiled when the conversation appeared to come to a close. Solas strode up to Ellana as the Queen left, and they trailed slowly behind.

"What did she say?" he asked curiously. She glanced up at him.

"She apologized that our first meeting had gone so badly. She'd apparently been hoping that they could meet the Inquisition formally at some point, and said that her husband is impossible to dissuade when he's mad." A small smile graced her lips. "It was kind of funny actually."

Solas chuckled. "It sounds like it." Silence reigned as they maneuvered through the castle, and he suddenly noticed she was staring at him oddly. "What?"

"Uh…oh, nothing. A lot happened when that portal opened. I'll tell you about it later. I'm quite tired."

Solas couldn't blame her – as it was, she was running on practically no sleep, and he had no idea what had transpired when that spell had been cast. Still he had the feeling she was hiding something.

…But what?

* * *

*Okay, I'm not stupid, I know the Hero doesn't show up, but here's my beef with that – my hero becomes the freaking Queen. A Queen does not just up and disappear from plain sight and NOBODY saw a damn thing. I get their reasoning for not putting the Heroin the game, I really do, but well, fanfiction logic. Anyone who wants to talk about it more can feel free to message me, I am all for long rants about Bioware, both good and bad.

Also, bonus! Sometimes I write bloopers when I have writer's block so here:

'Ellana appeared out of the portal twirling her staff in her hands, lightning arcing down it. "Surprise motherfucker!" she said as she approached the man. She shot lasers out of her eyes at him and the man collapsed dead. Then she and Solas made mad passionate love on the ground and it was so totally awesomesauce that their love killed all the baddies everywhere and Corephygross took off for the hills screaming like a little girl. Then they had a bajillion babies and lived happily ever after. The End.'

Special thanks to DemonDragon000, and Seele Zeit for your reviews! You guys are amazeballs!

Happy reading! :)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I know I've been gone forever, and I know this is super short, I'm sorry. All I can say is things have been crazy, plus I hate hate haaaaaaaate writing sad things. Every time I come back to this it makes me wince. I'm hoping that by posting what I have it will kind of kickstart my brain again. I'm just really sorry guys, I don't deserve your love.

* * *

 _Between Redcliffe and Haven_

"So, obviously there's no way of _knowing_ ," Ellana was saying as they ambled along the dirt path.

"Unless Alexius tells us," Dorian piped up from the back.

Ellana nodded to show she'd heard him and continued. "But my take on what happened, is he had managed to move through time before, but like Dorian mentioned, it was tearing apart reality. I think he just…didn't care."

"Or had descended so far into madness he didn't even notice," Dorian said miserably.

Ellana grimaced, but valiantly attempted to move the conversation along and away from the sad subject. "Then, when we were in the throne room, he was trying to either move himself or move us through time. But when Dorian surprised him, it must have altered the spell somehow, and sent us a year forward, instead of…whatever he _was_ planning to do."

Solas nodded pensively as she finished. "A plausible theory. It's also possible he meant to send you there initially, assuming he would be more powerful at that point, and then be able to…" He couldn't quite bring himself to mention her being killed.

"He _was_ more powerful," Ellana grumbled, and after a moment shook her head. "But no. I don't think that was it. He may have lost his advantage in Redcliffe after we killed the guards, but based on what he's done before, I get the feeling he would have gone into the past to fix that whole situation."

"True," Solas agreed.

A simple, if somewhat tense, silence then blanketed the group, giving Solas some time relatively to himself to think. Since leaving Redcliffe, Ellana had been acting…peculiar. Where she normally would have been peppering him with questions the entire journey, she had been uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn. A number of times he had caught her looking at him from the corner of his eye, and when he would glance back, she would lower her gaze and look away. A common response from a normal omega…however Ellana was anything but normal. Solas was surprised to find himself missing her boisterous behavior. Even in battle she seemed less volatile and dangerous than she once was. Her thoughts were clearly elsewhere.

What in the world had happened in that strange future?

Solas suppressed a sigh as Ellana hung back so she could walk beside the mage. Dorian. Perhaps he had said or done something while she was with him. Hurt her somehow. Solas' blood boiled at the thought, but he couldn't bring any real energy to the idea. Clearly the problem was somehow with himself. She was treating Dorian like an old friend, but with him…she was practically a ghost. The conversation they'd just had was the most he'd gotten out of her since they'd left, and even that had been difficult.

 _Should I even continue to press her?_ He wondered. Maybe…maybe this was for the best. He was far too attached to her as it was. They were friends, and while he enjoyed her company, he wanted far, far more than he could ever have. Than he even deserved to have. Even if they were Life Mates – and that was a big "if" – he couldn't be in any sort of relationship with her.

Mentally steadying himself, Solas rethought his plans. He would back off, give her space, and if she attempted to lessen the distance between them once more, he would push her away. It would kill him, but he would do it. They would figure out this mess as quickly as possible, and maybe, just _maybe_ , he could get away from her before her heat. He had no doubt he wouldn't be able to handle himself should her cycle come 'round. It was better this way.

So, casting one last wistful look at her – and noticing that once again she averted her eyes – Solas began re-building the walls around his heart.

* * *

 _Haven_

Two days later, the group arrived back in Haven, the mages hot on their heels. Solas had no doubt that the others had fallen immediately into bed, exhausted, but he felt restless. He eventually ended up seated next to a fire pit outside of his temporary home, gazing into the crackling flames.

He was unsurprised when Ellana's scent drifted to him after a time. Whatever had happened in Redcliffe had clearly shaken her, and at the moment she still considered him a friend. Solas' heart cracked a bit at the realization of what he was about to have to do. Now began the process of cutting her off, making her realize that they would never be close. Perhaps making her think that he didn't _want_ her friendship. He closed his eyes, mentally preparing.

She neared, and the tantalizing scent grew stronger, until he finally heard her footsteps approach, and stop by the fire.

"Good evening, Herald," he said after a quiet moment, opening his eyes. Firelight danced across her features and his insides clenched at the sight of her. "Should you not be resting?"

"I…have a lot on my mind. May I sit with you?" she asked in a small voice.

"If you must," Solas replied, and winced inwardly at the confusion that briefly flashed on her face at his cold words. She seemed to shrug it off however and sat beside him.

"I said that I would tell you what had happened in Redcliffe at some point."  
Solas gave a silent nod, eyes averted, and he could feel her confusion at his odd behavior exuding from her.

"Well…" she was obviously conflicted, and he couldn't help sparing her a glance. She was twisting a curl of her hair between her fingers, and he noted the nervous habit. She was also now looking anywhere but him. "Before the battle with Alexius, in the future time, you said something to me. It um…" she glanced quickly at him, and then her gaze skittered away once more. "It was in Elven, and you know more than me, so I'm not too sure what you said exactly…"

A sour scent teased his nose. _She was lying./i_

"But it seemed like you wanted to make sure you said it, before…well. In case the battle didn't go well I suppose."

Solas' heart was thudding, as a dreaded suspicion of what his future self had said began to dawn. "Go on."

She drew a deep breath. "I guess I was just wondering if there _was_ something you wanted to tell me, now, or if it had only occurred to you during that awful year. I mean, it's totally fine if you don't, I know it's a weird question, but y'know, you should tell people things while you can, and I guess this whole thing made me realize that we should take moments where we can get them and - "

"I have nothing to say to you."  
Her nervous babbling was instantly cut off, and the tense silence that followed wounded Solas. He could feel her pain at the abrupt and rude answer, but…it had to be done. His future self had clearly lost his mind, telling her about whatever feelings he thought he had. He could not be with her, could never alert her to the strange workings of his body and heart. Through sheer force of will, Solas managed not to meet her bewildered stare as her hurt permeated the air.

"Is…" she broke the silence after a long moment. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all," he said, forcing cold detachment into his voice. Every word cut at him.

"It just feels like you're angry or something." He did not respond and she then adopted a gentler tone. "You know you can talk to me, right? We're friends, after all."

Clenching his fist in preparation for the response he knew was coming, Solas snorted at her declaration.

Aghast, she snapped at him. _"What?_ "/i

" _Friends_ ", he sneered, and he broke a little inside at just how much disgust he managed to put into his tone. He was far too good at this, and Ellana's hurt, angry expression was proof of it. "You're Dalish."

That hit a nerve. Ellana flew to her feet, anger now flowing out of her in a palpable wave. She marched over to where he sat and stood before him, arms crossed, physically demanding his attention. Solas gave it to her, staring coldly into her flashing eyes. Beautiful eyes that would never dance cheerfully at him again.

"And what does _that_ have to do with anything?"

Solas took a slow breath. This would be the hardest part of all, the part where he truly cut off their relationship. "Your people are nothing but ignorant children, mindless creatures who blindly believe whatever their Keeper tells them. There care not for the true stories of the Elvhen, of the ancestors they claim to revere so. They mutilate once profound traditions, and willfully misunderstand knowledge that has been _handed_ to them. The Dalish are a sick twisted expression of what Elves were, and you will _never_ regain that which has been lost."

He had not expected her to be quiet.

In truth, he would not have been surprised if she attempted to end his life at that moment, as he had just insulted her very being.

But she just…stared at him.

Not that she wasn't angry. Fury positively rolled from her, and her eyes bored into his very soul, judging him…and found him wanting.

And then, just to drive the knife deeper, Solas' stomach twisted as a tear rolled down her cheek. Whether from frustration or betrayal he wasn't sure, but he was hard pressed not to beg her forgiveness, tell her the truth, and do _anything_ to make her smile again. Nothing had ever hurt so much as seeing this strong, ruthless woman cry.

"Well," she began, and her voice shook, shattering him further. "If that's how you feel…" she gazed at him a moment longer, then spun on her heel, stalking away from him.

Solas closed his eyes. He'd done it. He'd successfully pushed the only woman he'd ever truly cared for away, preventing her from yet more pain later, and himself from future heartbreak. It was one of the only decent and truly good things he had ever done.

He felt like the lowest scum ever created.

* * *

UPDATE: OMG I forgot to thank the people who gave me reviews!

Special thanks to Dani.777, Seele Zeit, SarahCastle, MissMajora8, and Clever Fox Hound! You guys are superstars!

Also, just in case anyone was worried, I am working on the next chapter. I try to make each chapter at least 3000 words and I have 2000 so far. Might even go up today. See you soon!

Happy Reading! :)


	8. Chapter 8

_Haven_

Solas had never gone quite so long without sleep, enjoying the wonders of the Fade as he did. But he felt he did not deserve to explore memories now, or visit with old friends. As punishment to himself, he had stayed awake for several days, and the strain had begun to take its toll.

During this time, he did not once see Ellana, though on the third day of his self-imposed torture he did scent her somewhere near the gates, and then leaving Haven. His heart clenched with worry as he realized she was going on a mission somewhere without him, but he knew he should have expected as much. More than likely she was going to ignore him as much as possible. Which was exactly the result he had intended. He should have been glad. But pain skewered his heart.

That night he could not longer fight the battle against sleep, and finally fell into a fitful slumber. Nightmares plagued him for a time, visions of Ellana crying or cruelly pushing him away cutting him deeply. He eventually managed to tear himself from the painful visions and was able to walk the Fade freely, though he could sense demons near, drawn by his sadness. With practiced skill however, he was able to avoid them. Though a small part of him whispered that perhaps he should simply allow them to do as they wished to him. He deserved it after all.

He was soon drawn to a cove he had visited many times in his youth, and sat near the water, allowing the sound of its gentle lapping at the shore to settle his mind somewhat. Thoughts of Ellana still plagued him however, and his concern for her safety tugged incessantly at his heart. Perhaps it was silly of him to care so deeply for her when he barely knew her, but he couldn't help it.

 _Maybe this is what it means to be Life Mates,_ he thought, and snorted bitterly. Fate would pair him with someone he had no business loving.

After a time, a familiar presence drew near, and though he was usually gladdened by it, he felt himself growing tense now. Wisdom would no doubt know what had transpired – such was her nature – and he was not sure how she would respond, nor what advice she would surely offer.

She ghosted silently to his side, and lowered as if sitting as well, though she had no need for the position, her form not needing rest as his did. * _"Andaran atish'an, uth falon,"_ she greeted him, her whispery voice reaching him as if on a breeze.

Solas sighed wearily. " _Aneth ara._ It has been some time."

" _Too long._ "

"I know…I apologize. There have been…troubling matters."

" _So I have seen,"_ her voice, while quiet, still seemed to echo in the cove. " _You worry for the mortal woman, Ellana."_

Solas clenched his jaw, and did not answer.

" _Tell me this – do you believe what you did was right? Pushing her from you?"_

He released a humorless laugh. "Shouldn't you know?"

" _I do not pretend to understand your heart, old wolf. Your opinions remain your own."_

Solas was quiet for a long moment.

"…I had to push her away. Whatever it is that was developing between us…it could not continue. One day I will have to leave her, and break her heart. I could not do that to her."  
" _And what of your happiness?"_

He snorted again. "I deserve none."

" _She would not say the same."_

"She doesn't know who I am," he snapped. "Of course she wouldn't. But if she knew the truth…"

" _She doesn't know who you_ _ **were,**_ _"_ Wisdom corrected him, her voice a touch stronger than usual. _"You have not once lied to her – you cannot bring yourself to."_

"A lie by omission is a lie all the same."

 _"That is not what I mean,"_ she said gently. _"You have been yourself since you came to Skyhold – and that is not the man you once were. She sees the darkness and regret in your soul, and while she may not know where it stemmed from, she can see you are not who you once were. You will always carry Fen'Harel's mistakes, but you are not the same man who made them. You are righting those wrongs, and that man deserves happiness."_

"At the cost of her own? I _will_ hurt her some day. That has not changed."

There was another long moment of tense silence, broken only by the water.

" _You could tell her._ "

Solas pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes. A brilliant plan. She will not only be broken-hearted, she will be horrified and outraged that she allowed herself to fall for the one who, in her mind, destroyed her people."

" _As I said, she knows you are a changed man. You may be surprised by her response."_

Solas stood and began to pace. "Very well. Let us say I tell her and she does, in fact, accept me. What then? What kind of life could she possibly lead with me? She can't very well come with me – I will be destroying the only world she has ever known. She would never know a moment's peace, if she even lives through what my actions bring upon her."

" _Perhaps a new option will present itself by being with her. You are seeing the world through her eyes now – before you would not have believed a mortal was even worthy of love, as you did not believe them to even be truly alive. You no longer see them that way, do you?"_

"I…no." He responded honestly. How could he? In all his years, he had never met someone so vibrant and gloriously _alive_ than Ellana.

" _There may be other ways, my friend. You simply must be open to them."_

Solas attempted to calm the tumultuous thoughts spinning through his mind, and changed the subject. "There is still the matter of our rather different life expectancies. Even if I did find a way to be with her…Her life will be nothing less than a blink of an eye in comparison to mine. In the end, I would not have the happiness you claim I deserve."

" _Would a few years with her, no matter how short, not be better than never having known her love at all? Yes, she will one day pass – all things must eventually – but the memory of her will remain, and the happiness you had with her will not be changed just because she is gone."_

Solas sat again, finding himself rather weak after such a conversation. No words were exchanged between them as he weighed the various options before him.

" _The dawn is coming,"_ Wisdom eventually murmured. She was correct.

A long exhale left Solas. "Thank you my friend. As always, you have given me much to think about."

" _Have you made a decision, then?"_

Solas clenched his fist tightly once, then released it and slumped his shoulders. "I…I am a fool, but I want her in my life. I don't know if she will accept my friendship again, let alone anything more, but…I will try."

" _A wise choice,"_ she responded slyly.

Solas chuckled. "How ironic…" he mused, then asked "Will I make her happy?"

" _You are certainly capable of doing so. That is all I can tell you._ "

"What should I do? About what I said to her?"

" _You could try apologizing for a start,"_ Wisdom remarked, and Solas could swear there was a tone of sarcasm to it.

"You seem frustrated, old friend," he chortled.

" _You are the only creature who seems capable of producing such a thing from me,"_ she replied, and now the words seemed warm. _"It is nearly time for you to wake."_

"Yes, you are right, as always," Solas said, standing. She rose as well. Before bidding her farewell however, he hesitated.

" _Is something else on your mind?"_

"Do you…" he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Do you believe that Life Mates are real?"

She was quiet for a beat. _"I cannot say for certain one way or the other. However, sometimes, it does seem as though two people were fated to meet, does it not? And you, old wolf, falling for the woman marked by your own orb…the universe is rarely so lazy as to let a coincidence such as that simply happen, don't you agree?"_

* * *

Late that morning she arrived. No sooner had Ellana returned from her mission than she had announced they would be attempting to close the breach the following day. Solas longed to get close to her, to find a few minutes alone with her so he could beg her forgiveness at last, but he knew such an attempt would be futile. Her day would be spent among her advisors as they attempted to prepare her for something they had no way of preparing her for, and if she was smart – as he knew she was – she would retire early to rest and help build up her strength.

Her scent lingered near the entrance of Haven, reaching just far enough for him to catch the tantalizing aroma in his small cabin. He had allowed himself to drift off a bit, allowing himself a silly fantasy wherein he embraced her after she graciously accepted his apology, which led to a sweet kiss, which led to…not as sweet things, when a knock interrupted his musings.

After rising and adjusting his clothing a bit, he swung open the door to reveal Varric.

"Varric," he greeted, and stepped aside. "Please, come in."

"Nah, I just have a message for you. Freckles wants everyone ready at the chantry gates to head out to the Breach by dawn. She wanted to make sure you would be coming." Varric eyed him up and down once. "Though I sort of thought that was a given."

Solas shifted uncomfortably. "I understand. I will be there, of course."

"Right…Did something happen between you two?"  
He glanced away, embarrassed by his own actions. "I…said something I should not have. I shouldn't reveal the details however."

"Don't expect you to. Look, maybe I'm saying something I shouldn't be either here, but it seems to me like she's trying to make it _look_ like she's just mad as hell at you."

Solas furrowed his brow in confusion but nodded as he continued.

"Don't get me wrong, she _is_ angry, but she's more…just sad. I think she's disappointed to be honest." Varric ran a hand through his hair. "Look, whatever you did, you better fix it, I don't like seeing her like this. She's a sweet girl, and she doesn't deserve whatever you did." With that, the dwarf spun on his heel and stalked off, not sparing a backward glance for him.

Solas ran his palm over his face. Varric's reputation for taking people under his wing was an honest one then. He cared for Ellana, and this had been his way of telling his Solas he had one chance to fix things, or he'd have to deal with him.

Great.

* * *

Dawn arrived cold and grey, and Solas was the first to arrive at the Chantry, his crunching footsteps in the snow the only sound to be heard. Within moments however, Ellana's scent approached, and Solas tensed as he realized they would be alone.

He heard her before he saw her, the atmosphere as tense and quiet as it was. Her footfalls made the same sound his had. She froze briefly when she spotted him, but continued on momentarily.

"Solas," she greeted coldly.

"Ellana…" he replied, unsure of what to say. She did not make eye contact, and her frosty expression did not bode well for him.

The tension could be cut with a knife, and sheer awkwardness kept him silent for far longer than he had wanted. Eventually, he regained his voice and began.

"I wanted to -"

He was interrupted by Cassandra's loud footsteps approaching, followed closely by Varric's. Annoyed, he begrudgingly fell silent, and Ellana met his eyes for a brief moment.

"…Now isn't the time," she said quietly. Whether she meant for an apology or talking in general he wasn't sure.

"Are we ready?" Cassandra asked as she approached.

"I believe so," Ellana replied, then immediately turned to begin their trek.

Solas gripped his staff tightly, tense as he followed her. This was no small fight they were walking into, and it occurred to him that…that he might never get the chance to apologize to her. He gazed at her walking at the head of the group, caught the determined tilt of her mouth as they rounded a bend, the fierce set of her gaze. She was aware too. There was no way of knowing how her mark would react to the Breach closing, if they could close it at all. The explosion of power that would come from such a thing closing in the first place would surely be astronomical. Her chances of surviving were unknown, but Solas had a sinking feeling that something dreadful was going to happen to her.

Part of him wanted to press forward until he was beside her and force his apology out whether she wanted it or not, and yet another part of him said that doing so now would only cause more trouble. But if he never got the chance to say it in the first place…

Afraid, guilty, and frustrated beyond measure, Solas bent his head and continued to follow silently, his heart heavy with worry.

For this could be the last time he ever saw Ellana.

* * *

At last they stood before the tear in the sky, and Ellana approached it silently, her mark flaring in its creator's presence. She gazed up into its heart, her body rigid and her eyes cold. Despite the sheer difference in size between the two of them, the power that emanated from both of them was awe-inspiring, and the very air seemed to vibrate with tension. It reminded Solas starkly of the calm before a violent storm, watching her stare the Breach down, just as it seemed to stare back.

He stepped to the side of her, Cassandra between them, and Ellana cast a glance to her mark, clenching a fist around it, and the flaring energy calmed somewhat. She then looked across to him for a brief moment.

It reminded him of the first time she'd met his gaze – the power that had flowed from her, he determination, and most importantly, her unspoken request for his help. All of this was in her gaze yet again, even her desire for his assistance, despite what had happened between them. He didn't think she had forgiven him – not yet at least – but she needed him, and he could not refuse her. No more had to be exchanged between them for her to know he was there for her, no matter what she needed.

She then looked to Cassandra, and they shared a nod before he and the Seeker backed away, Ellana continuing forward. Cassandra gathered the mages' attention and Solas addressed them.

"Focus past the Herald," he advised. "Let her will draw from you!"

He then turned to watch the small woman step as close as she dared, and lift her arm to the sky. Her mark flared brighter than he had ever seen, and the Breach began to crackle with energy as well. He distantly heard as the mages released their own energy and allowed Ellana to draw from it, and watched it terrified awe as a line of energy begin to unwillingly spark to life between her hand and the tear in the sky. She grabbed her arm and he saw her face contort in pain as the energy picked up, glowing brighter and brighter still. Her knees shook, and she feared she would fall again, but just as one leg began to go down, a determined look crossed her face, and she positioned herself in a stronger stance, refusing to bow.

The power grew, and grew, and then like a string snapping, suddenly released with a brilliant burst of energy and light, knocking himself and everyone else over. The power washed over them all, and dissipated into the air.

Cassandra stood before he did, but as soon as he rose he followed in her wake, grateful for her assertiveness as she pushed others out of their way in her haste to make it to the Herald. And at last, he saw her.

She was kneeling on the ground, panting, clearly exhausted…but _alive._ Her head rose, and as one, they looked to they sky to see…nothing.

The Breach had been closed.

Ellana stood slowly as Cassandra cast one of her rare smiles. "You did it," she exclaimed proudly, and the mages began to cheer, drowning out the quiet awe that had overtaken them all before.

Beaming and laughing in disbelief, Ellana looked at him as people began to crowd around him, and he couldn't help smiling back.

They had won.

* * *

Laughter and singing echoed in Haven that night, and the refugees, soldiers, and mages alike danced in merriment. Drinks flowed freely between all, and for the first time in a long while, it truly seemed as though a peaceful future was within reach. At long last, there was hope.

Solas meandered at the edges of it all, smiling gently at the few who noticed him, but no one approached – he kept to the shadows, wandering closer and closer to Ellana, who stood above it all.

She was conversing quietly with Cassandra, and for the first time that Solas could remember, she seemed truly relaxed. There had been this constant undercurrent of fear before, small at times thought it was, but now she seemed at least somewhat at ease. Tired though she clearly was, she smiled at Cassandra as they spoke, and the alpha was smiling back, and a sense of relief emanated from both of them.

Though his instincts still told him to shove his way between them, Solas was getting better at ignoring his baser instincts, especially when her scent was not overpowering him. The carried it away from him, and while he could detect a hint of it if he focused, it was in no way overpowering. In that moment of peace, he allowed himself to gaze at her.

Her skin glowed porcelain in the moonlight, occasionally brightened to gold by a particularly strong flicker of flame from the fires below. Her midnight curls fluttered gently in the breeze, and her eyes danced even from here. She was beautiful, and happy, and wonderfully, gloriously alive.

Cassandra nodded at her and started off to the Chantry, leaving Ellana alone. Solas took a steadying breath. The time had come. Whether or not she forgave him, he owed her an apology, and he would do whatever it took to prove himself worthy of her friendship once again.

He began walking up the hill to where she stood, and he saw the moment she spotted him. The way her body tensed, the way she averted her gaze. Her expression was cold, but he couldn't help thinking she didn't seem quite as resistant to him as before. While he couldn't say he was exactly welcome in her space, it didn't seem like she was going to push him away either. That could have been his own wishful thinking though.

He approached her slowly, and eventually came to stand by her side. When she said nothing, he greeted her. "Good evening, Herald."

"Hello, Solas." She didn't sound irritated, or even sad, just…tired.

"I am happy to see you are well," he said awkwardly. "Did…were you injured in any way?"

She was quiet for a moment, and he sensed she was considering her answer rather than ignoring him. "Not really. It hurt when I was sealing it – a lot – but it faded once it closed. It..it looks bigger to me though." She opened her palm and looked upon the mark.

"May I?" he asked hesitantly, motioning toward her palm. She held back for a moment herself, then extended her arm to him. He took her hand gently, ignoring the spark of electricity that seemed to jump from her skin to his as they made contact. He extended his magic slightly, allowing it to brush against the distantly familiar energy of her mark. The magic had been warped and changed to connect to her at this point, and only the faintest hint of himself remained. Under his inspection he noted that the mark did in fact seem a bit larger, but not large enough to concern him. Well, concern him more than her having the mark in the first place did anyway.

"I believe you are alright. If you feel any more pain however, I would appreciate it if you would tell me. I may be able to help."

"I will," she replied easily.

There was another awkward pause, and Solas decided he needed to simply push through it and say what he had to say now, or he never would.

"Hera-" he cleared his throat and began again, more quietly. "…Ellana."

She looked over to him seeming slightly surprised. The firelight cast her face in strange shadows, and for the first time he noticed a small scar over her left brow.

"Oh," she said in feigned shock. "Are we on a first name basis now?"

Though the words were cold, he could swear there was a teasing note in her tone, and he dared to crack a half smile, which she returned. Hope bloomed in his chest.

"I deserved that," he muttered wryly, and she hummed in agreement. He took a deep breath. "What I said before-"

Just then, the bells at the gate told, and they both snapped their attention to Haven's entrance in the distance. He could see Cullen quickly begin ushering people this way and that as he attempted to gather their forces and get everyone else to safety at the same time. Cassandra came barreling out of the Chantry and by unspoken agreement they all made their way to the gates. They passed Varric on the way, who followed without question.

When they finally arrived, Cullen, Josephine and Leliana already stood there together, worried expressions upon each of their faces.

Cullen reported what the watchguard had seen to Cassandra, and that they were under no banner to Josephine. And when Cole came his very existence grated on Solas' senses, telling him that he was _wrong,_ but now was not the time to deal with such a thing. Throughout it all he kept a close eye on Ellana, once again afraid for her safety, and now from an enemy he feared very much he knew. And then Cole said…

"The Red Templars went to the Elder One. You know him? He knows you. You took his mages." The boy turned and pointed in the distance. "There."

Corypheus stalked out of thin air onto the snow-covered cliff, and glared down at them, his powerful aura thick even from there. Solas' stomach dropped as he saw the creature he had foolishly allowed to have his orb.

"He's very angry that you took his mages," Cole said ominously.

Ellana and Cullen conversed behind them, but Solas heard none of it. His insides had gone cold. Ellana could _not_ face him. She would never survive. She was so small, and for all her power, she was still so vulnerable, and fragile. He couldn't allow her anywhere near him. She would die.

Distantly, as though from the other side of a cave, he heard Cullen advise her to use the trebuchets, and then his inspiring speech to the soldiers. But he did not move until Ellana caught his shoulder, and then he snapped out of his reverie.

"Solas, come on!"

"Yes," he said breathlessly, and followed her towards the contraptions. They fought through Red Templars and demons, and by the end of it, though beaten, bloody and bruised, they managed to fire the trebuchets, and covered the massive forces in snow.

As cheers of victory went up from the people of Haven, for a brief moment, Solas believed it really would be that easy – that they had won and Ellana had wiped out her enemy in one fell swoop.

How foolish he was.

Moments later the trebuchet was destroyed by a blast of fire, and with horror, he heard the beating of wings as a dragon flew overhead, destruction its clear intent. Ellana moved instantly into action, ushering all towards the gates, and speaking in clipped, quick sentences to Cullen, agreeing to help all she could to the Chantry. They rescued many from the wreckage of the dragon before they had no choice but to press on toward the building, but Solas was reasonably certain they had managed to save all who could be saved.

Chancellor Roderick, heavily injured, ushered the last of them inside, and Cole explained that he had tried to stop a Templar as he helped the wounded man down to sit.

"The blade went deep," he said matter-of-factly. "He's going to die."

"What a charming boy," the Chancellor muttered. Solas found himself resisting the urge to laugh rather madly. He was close to panicking.

Cullen approached then and reported the time they'd lost to the Herald, angrily snapping at Cole when he told the Commander he'd seen an archdemon before. The boy didn't seem fazed however.

Cullen continued telling her the hopelessness of their position for a moment, before ending with "They'll kill everyone in Haven!"

"The Elder One doesn't care about the village," Cole pointed out. "He only wants the Herald."

Solas' heart clenched as he saw the look Ellana shot at the boy. He knew what she was going to say before she even moved her lips. "If it will save these people, he can have me." Her voice was hard and brooked no argument.

Cole interjected despite this however. "It won't. He wants to kill you, no one else matters…but he'll crush them, kill them anyway. I don't like him."

"You don't like-" Flabbergasted, Cullen just shook his head at the boy and turned back to Ellana. "Herald, there are no tactics to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was that avalanche. We could turn the remaining trebuchets, cause one last slide."

"We're overrun," Ellana argued fervently. "To hit the enemy, we'd bury Haven."

"We're dying," Cullen replied resignedly. "But we can decide now. Many don't get that choice."

Ellana closed her eyes and put her hand to her face, clearly distraught. Hesitantly, Solas reached out and gently gripped her shoulder, and was mildly relieved when she reached up with her other hand to touch his fingers. Neither of them noticed the silent exchange between Cole and the Chancellor, only looking up when the strange boy spoke.

"Chancellor Roderick can help," he piped up, breaking the moment. Solas' hand fell from her shoulder. "He wants to say it before he dies."

Between wheezes of pain, the man told them of the path he had stumbled upon, and for the first time, looked at Ellana with something akin to awe. "Now, with so many in the Conclave dead…to be the only one that remembers?" he chuckled weakly as he finished. "I don't know…If this simple memory can save us, it could be more than mere accident. _You_ could be more…!"

Ellana deliberated for a moment and then turned to the Commander. "What about it Cullen? Will it work?"

"Possibly," he replied slowly. " _If_ he shows us the path." A thought seemed to occur to him then. "What of your escape."

Ellana said nothing, only gave him a hard look, and slowly, realization dawned on the Commander's face.

She was going to die.

For the second time that night, Solas felt his stomach drop, and ice seemed to shoot through his heart. This beautiful, strong, vibrant woman was going to give her life for people who would have happily seen her killed mere weeks ago, for a world that would never appreciate the sacrifice she was giving them. She was going to die, and leave him here alone in this foreign, cold world, where nothing made sense anymore, where people seemed to live half-lives. He got the distinct feeling that without her, he would be doing the same thing.

"…Perhaps you will surprise it," Cullen said quietly, sounding like even he didn't believe his words. "Find a way…" Abruptly he turned away to give the soldiers in the room orders, and Cole helped the Chancellor over to speak quietly for a moment. Solas' heart pounded wildly. Any moment they would go out there and they would bury Haven, and she would die, and he would be alone, and and and…and it was all happening too fast. He was too late. Wisdom had been wrong. He would never know a life with Ellana. She was too pure for this world and it was snuffing her out as easily as you would a candle. He didn't have enough time.

Cullen returned to her as a few soldiers loped over to the doors of the Chantry, explaining to her that they would help load the trebuchets, and they then shared a strong handshake. Solas recognized it for what it was.

A farewell.

* * *

Normally, in one of their fights, banter could frequently be heard between them all, with Varric generally instigating it. Even Cassandra would occasionally release a small boast or victory cry during battle.

This time, there was nothing.

The fight was hard-won, and it was all the four of them could do to stay alive, let alone get the trebuchets aimed. But in the end they prevailed, nearly ready to cut the rope and send the weapon flying…when the beating of wings suddenly could be heard. They looked to the sky, and sure enough, the dragon was barreling toward them, it's horrific mouth gaping as it prepared to blast them with fire.

"Move, now!" Ellana commanded, and they took of running, feet flying beneath them as they made for the Chantry. The dragon released it's flames behind them, and the force of it sent Ellana tumbling. Solas turned back to glance at her as she turned onto her hip toward him. Their gazes met.

For a brief moment the stark reality of what was truly happening hit him. Ellana, for all her power and fortitude, was nothing but a young girl, about to stand up to what might be the most powerful creature in existence, hell-bent on destroying her. In the distance, he could see Corypheus approaching, his silhouette emerging ominously from the flames. And in that instant, Solas could not have pulled himself away from her if he'd tried.

But then, clearly sensing the creature's approach herself, Ellana's features changed, and Solas could physically feel her magic manifest in preparation – static tingles reverberated along his skin as electricity began to sing through the air. Ellana stood, her powerful presence overtaking the area, in direct odds with Corypheus'. Her eyes aglow with magic, and her stance strong and unyielding, somehow, some way, in that moment, Solas knew.

She was going to survive.

And with one last look backwards to see the woman he cared so deeply for standing before the face of true evil, Solas did the only thing he could.

He ran.

* * *

A/N: And 5,200 words later, I'm done. It's nearly 4am, I have a wedding in less than 3 months I should be planning, and here I am writing fanfiction. I should seriously re-evaluate my life choices.

*You'll have to excuse me if I'm butchering the language here; I had to take some liberties. Though a lot of this is in English they are supposed to be speaking Elven, there just isn't enough canon language for me to write it that way. I used "uth falon" to mean "old friend."

Special thanks to DemonDragon000, animexchick, kateskates24, Steele Zeit, and MissMajora8 for your reviews! You guys are the best!

Happy reading! :)


	9. Chapter 9

_Outside of Haven_

The search for Ellana began the moment Cullen declared they were safe. The avalanche had destroyed the world behind them, and it pierced Solas' heart to imagine Ellana buried beneath all that snow, her small heart giving way to the cold due to her own heroism. Though he knew deep in his soul she was alive, his worries were not misplaced; left alone, she would die out there.

Solas immediately set off on his own, though Cullen called out for him, likely to command that no one searched alone. Ordinarily, he might have agreed, but due to the manner in which he intended to search for the Herald, having a partner wouldn't have been prudent.

Once far enough that he wouldn't be seen, Solas shifted into a large black wolf, six red eyes peering out into the darkness. His fur had been white once…but that was a story long since done. His concern now, was Ellana. He raced into the deathly silent cold, taking in large, deep breaths in an attempt to capture her scent. Her effect on him was an advantage now – where others might be able to catch her muted omega scent when they were nearby, her scent reached him across large distances, for reasons he still did not understand, nor did he care to at the moment. He only hoped he could find her before her body gave out. He was in a race against time, and time had never been kind to him.

* * *

The ice and snow had numbed his paws, but still he carried on, fueled by the knowledge that Ellana was suffering the same fate, but weakened from her battle. Somewhere out there, she was braving the snowy mountains on her own, with no direction or support. And as Solas trudged up the mountainside, against the wind and cold, desperately trying to reach her when before he had pushed her away, he vowed she would never go without it again.

And suddenly, mid-step, he froze. For a moment, he thought he had caught her scent on the wind. He lifted his snout and took in great gulps of air, trying to find it again. At first he thought he imagined it - but then once again, there it was, teasing his nostrils with its faintness.

Giddy with the knowledge that he had found her, Solas threw his head back and released a long howl, before racing toward her, numbness forgotten. He raced over the icy ground, kicking up snow and sleet as he went.

At last, he saw her, a tiny dark smudge on the horizon, the only proof it was her being the faintest of green glows from her hand. As he drew nearer, he saw that she was hunched over, her steps slow and shaky, arms held tightly to her torso. When he finally came close enough that she heard him, both stopped.

Her eyes rose slowly to meet his, and though he saw the recognition in her eyes, there was no fear. No shock, terror, or otherwise. There was only resignation. For many long moments, they simply stood, staring at one another. Then, all at once, Ellana collapsed to her knees, eyes still locked on his, before slowly bowing her head.

She was giving up.

 _No,_ Solas thought fiercely. He would not let her meet her end out here. Clearly she knew who this form represented, and believed it to mean she was about to die, but he would not let her go. He would drag her along if he had to, but she would _not_ die. Not while he breathed.

He loped over to her crumpled form, and positioned himself at her side, before beginning to nose at her arm and ribs, gently nudging and pushing, even once taking hold of her sleeve with his teeth and tugging. Finally, she seemed to understand that he was not attempting to bring her to her death and lifted her head, gazing at him with exhausted eyes. Solas stared back, trying desperately to convey through his gaze that he was trying to help, that she needed to get up and _fight._

Slowly, shakily, Ellana rose to her feet, though her expression was hesitant. She was clearly confused by his actions, but chose to follow. Really, what other option did she have? Once she was relatively steady, Solas gave her leg a gentle nudge, prompting her to move forward. Clumsily, she stumbled forward one step, then another, and another, until once again she was moving slowly forward.

Solas supported her every step of the way, bracing her when she was ready to fall, and urging her forward when she seemed ready to give up, allowing her to clutch at his fur when she needed him for balance. Never once did he falter, sacrificing all his energy and focus into getting her to safety. It was a rather perfect metaphor, he thought once. For this was what he would do for the rest of her days. She would never once go without his support again – he would always be there to catch her when she fell.

* * *

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he could scent the camp not far away, and fell back, causing her to look back at him in confusion. He gave her a little nudge forward again, followed it with a bark of encouragement, and she reluctantly turned back to her task. Solas ran quickly off into the distance to shape-shift once more, and raced back as fast as he was able, arriving in time to see her coming into the campsite's view. He drew near to her and called for the others.

"I've found her!" he cried, and she collapsed before him, only held up by his arms, which swiftly snapped out to catch her. She sagged tiredly at first, and he carefully maneuvered her until she was cradled in his embrace. Quite suddenly then, she opened her eyes and gripped his fingers in the white knuckled grip of one of her fists.

Wide eyed and pale faced, she gasped out _"Fen'Harel…!"_

Solas felt his heart sputter wildly at the name, briefly thinking she was accusing him – but then her eyes rolled back and she went limp, hand falling from his as she passed out. A silent sigh of relief escaped him, and Solas glanced over to see that Cullen stood beside them, looking confused, but relieved, more so after he pressed his fingers to her wrist and felt a pulse, which he proclaimed weak, but there all the same. Solas couldn't find it in himself to growl at the other alpha being near her – her safety overrode all.

The Commander led the way for Solas through the camp, ordering everyone save for the healer to stay back, as everyone was pressing forward to see their savior. Solas pushed through the crowd as quickly as he dared, mindful of not jostling Ellana in his arms. Finally, they reached the tent, and the muted silence inside was relieving. Once Solas had laid Ellana gently on the cot, the healer nudged him aside so she could begin her work. He and Cullen stood somewhat awkwardly at the entrance to the tent – the Commander simply seemed uncertain of what to do from here, while Solas was gazing unabashedly at Ellana, and rooted stubbornly in his spot. If either Cullen or the healer said a word about him leaving her, they'd have another thing coming.

After many long minutes of the healer passing her glowing hands over Ellana's prone form, she leaned back with a little exhale. "She will be alright, but let's get her a few more blankets. She'll need a lot of rest, and to stay warm of course."

"Right," Cullen replied, and slipped out of the tent. Solas could hear him murmuring to someone about Ellana's status before he had moved out of his hearing range.

"Does she need any further medical attention?" Solas asked the healer.

She shook her head. "No, not that I can see."

He gave her a nod and moved closer. "Then perhaps you should go see to anyone else who was injured during our escape. I can watch over her for you."

The healer hesitated for a moment, but then gave him a little smile and rose to her feet. "Thank you. Tell me if anything happens."  
"Of course."

With that, she gathered her robes and silently left the tent, leaving him and the unconscious Herald in the dim light.

Solas dropped exhausted in the chair the healer had just vacated – where the seat had come from he didn't know – and watched as Ellana breathed slowly, a shiver occasionally shaking her frame. Being cold was one thing, but she was no longer freezing; she hadn't been shivering at all earlier, which had concerned him greatly.

At one point a mage came in with a few blankets, which Solas thanked her for, and laid them down upon Ellana. Not long after that, the elf's shivers slowed, then completely stopped, and Solas sighed with relief as his muscles fully relaxed for the first time in what seemed like ages.

She was going to be alright.

* * *

Solas' eyes blinked open blearily as Ellana made a small sound. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep. Lifting his head from where it had rested beside her on the bed, he rose from his hunched over position, wincing at the pain in his back. Ellana shifted and made another soft noise before her own eyelids lifted slowly.

"Ellana," Solas sighed gratefully as she met his gaze. The corners of her mouth turned upward in a small smile, and she glanced over to small tray with a pitcher of water and a couple of wooden cups on it – Solas realized the Healer must have come by and left it for them at some point. He poured her some water and ordered her not to gulp it, and she took it appreciatively.

"Thank you," she whispered hoarsely when she had finished. She cleared her throat a little and continued. "How long was I out?"

"Only a few hours," Solas replied. "But you gave us quite a scare."

She hummed in response. "Did everyone make it out okay?"

"They seemed to have, thanks to you."

"Good," she said, and reclined back once more, though her eyes remained open.

Silence passed between them for a time, until it occurred to Solas quite suddenly that this was finally his chance.

"Ellana," he began softly, and she turned her head to meet his eyes fully. "What happened in Haven…what I said to you…" he cleared his throat and looked away, then forced his gaze back, doing his best not to be a coward. "I was wrong. Despite our differing opinions, the Dalish are your people, and I was wrong to insult them the way I did. To insult you. More than that, you are not them, and I cannot hold the mistakes they have made against you. I will not lie, I do not approve of their views or their treatment of others, but I should not treat you, or your people, as lesser simply because of that." He bowed his head. "I am deeply sorry."

Ellana was quiet for a few long moments. "I accept your apology," she eventually said quietly.

"Truly?" he asked, looking up again.

"Yes," she replied with a smile. "What you said hurt, but I can see you really are sorry for what you did. And to be honest, I've really missed being your friend." Her words burned with sincerity, and it cut him to realize she had missed him just as badly as he had her.

"As have I," he responded, inwardly cursing himself for the choked quality his voice had taken. If she noticed however, she said nothing, only keeping her gentle smile. Which was quickly broken by a yawn.

Solas chuckled and rose to his feet. "Get some more rest – I'll let the healer know you've woken once and seem to be okay."

"Um, will you…are you coming back?" she asked uncertainly.

"If you'd like me to."

She beamed, and his heart clenched. "I would."

He bowed slightly. "Then I will. Get back to sleep."

She gave him a little mock salute. "Yes, sir."

Solas rewarded her with a little laugh as she repositioned under her blankets before exiting the tent.

After a few minutes of searching, he managed to find the healer, who was relieved to hear Ellana was well, despite the fact that she had expected as much. They were all worried for the Herald. Cullen stopped him on his way back to the tent.

"Is she well?" the Commander asked.

"Yes," Solas replied, clasping his hands easily behind his back. "She's was awake briefly even, but she is resting again."

"That's a relief," Cullen sighed. "I'll let the others know – everyone is quite concerned for her."

"So it would seem," Solas mused.

Cullen appeared to be wrestling with something for a moment before asking another question. "When you found her, before she passed out, she said something to you. I think it was elven, but I couldn't understand it. What did she say, if you don't mind my asking?"

Solas' mind raced momentarily before settling on the appropriate amount of truth and lie. " _Fen'Harel,"_ he echoed quietly.

" _Fen'Harel?"_ Cullen asked, somewhat clumsily repeating the word. "What does that mean?"

"The Dread Wolf. He is the elven god of deception," Solas replied warily. "Though he has gone by many other names as well. Many Dalish believe that if you see him in your dreams, or if he catches your scent, it is an omen of death." He coughed awkwardly. "It is understandable that she would perhaps see a hallucination of him, or simply have him in her thoughts, considering how close she was to…"

Cullen swiftly replied when Solas trailed off. "Ah, yes. That does make sense. In any case, I was only curious. Thank you."

Solas nodded and continued onward, slipping quietly back into the tent to find Ellana back in a deep slumber. He sighed contently. Ellana was well, his identity had not been compromised, and the people of Haven were safe – at least for now. All was well.

* * *

I know this one is a little short but this seemed like a good place to end it. We'll pick up again in Skyhold soon.

Special thanks to DemonDragon000, animexchick, and Elsa Jones for your comments! You guys are the bestest!

Happy reading! :)


	10. Life Mate Hiatus

Hey everyone,

Okay, I'm really sorry for deceiving you all and making you think this was gonna be another chapter. However, you can rest assured – I am _not_ giving up on this story!

This is only a brief hiatus. With the wedding looming ever closer (two weeks holy crap) and me taking care of my step-daughter more frequently, the holidays coming up, plus being back in college online, I'm completely swamped. I just don't have the time to write. The time I usually used to write before is now generally taken up by wedding planning, but I know I will be too busy during the holidays as well.

So, my story is on hiatus until _**January 7**_ _ **th**_ __You guys will have your new chapter then, and hopefully I will have a schedule set up for updating this as well.

Until then, I love you all to pieces, you've made writing this story a joy and a pleasure, and I will see you all soon!

Happy reading! :)


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